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Fonkou Djoendia

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What are 5 things you have learned that has completely changed your life?

I am still a kid, And I love asking questions, cause I believe that the best way to learn is through asking questions. And I love the TED community, its full of amazing individuals. So, What are 5 things you have learned that has completely changed your life?

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    Jun 22 2012: (continued)

    3. Learn the power of "no". I once believed the more friends I had the better my life would be, and that it was my job to say yes to them as often as I could. Rather than enriching my life, or theirs, I felt weighed down and obliged to bend to the wishes of people who really didn't share my "goals" and "values". These two things are really important, and learning to say "no" to requests, situations and people who are not a good fit in my life is really empowering. It gives me the gift of a smaller but really vital group of people and experiences in my life, who I can give more time to, and who truly make my own path happy and meaningful. Being your "authentic self" is very empowering!

    4. Live life on purpose. I spent the first part of my life embracing "serendipity" (happy accidents). I think being able to recognize coincidences and acting spontaneously when things fit is a great practice. I also find that "choosing" is the activity that I want in the driver's seat. While I love remaining open to the little surprises life presents, and to changing my plans when things fit, I find I most want to choose how my ideal life should look.

    5. Ask lots of questions. Practice "appreciative inquiry" (asking what's right and what works, instead of what's wrong and broken) (http://centerforappreciativeinquiry.net/) and the power of "the positive flip" (instead of saying, "yes, but," reminding myself to say "yes, and..."). These seem like little things, but they've made a big difference in my life. I try to stop waiting for the next opportunity to jump in with my own opinion, and actively listen to what others have to share, and to be open to ideas that may not necessarily match my own. Asking lots of questions gives me the chance to discover wonderful new ideas, people and opportunities I might not otherwise have considered. That's exactly what you're doing here, Fonkou, and it looks like you (and we) have received lots of presents : ) Thank you!
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      Jun 24 2012: Ugh, I loved that! Thank you soo much!
    • Jun 25 2012: As to the comment about "appreciative inquiry" I find that figuring out why something doesn't work can be as helpful, if not more so that finding out what does work. Although knowing what works is important, it often helps if you know why it works ie. what can go wrong. So when in doubt about why something is the way it is... ask for an example of what can happen to make the principle flip.

      BTW I answered your question thinking about mathematics, and what helps me learn, but just like Occam's razor states the simplest solution is usually the best (not always true in math). Keep asking questions and keep making RVA proud by bettering yourself!

      "One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds."
      -Frank Zappa

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