- Ivan Ana-Maria
- Chemnitz
- Germany
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How do you actually cope with depression?
I have read some of the debates on 'depression' posted here and contextualized according to the author's experience and interest in a particular issue.
My question, though, comes from underneath possible references and eventual scientific explanations. It is a puerile question inspired by my recent intellectual and existential lethargy and it is an attempt to reach out and try to discuss it with those who have been through a similar situation.
Although I have experienced depression in the past, it strikes me now in a rather inappropriate moment. Depression is never welcome, I know, but I am also trying to see its self-revelatory side, the 'good one', the possible 'fruits' of an unpleasant emotional exploration.
May one actually learn from this? I acknowledge the inherent process of learning about yourself, about acting in a certain way when recognizing your weakness, your impotence. But is there really a 'good' side to depression?
I am now fighting my own monsters, so to speak, while I feel that my life has been put on hold, indefinitely. I am in my final year of master studies and what I am facing now is more than a banal writer's block, it is a paralyzing fear of the future that might prevent me from completing my studies on time (something I can hardly afford).
And therefore I must ask how does one cope with this? I agree with Tina Moore's idea that finding your way out of this emotional abyss is a highly individual process, then how did you overcome it? I am sure that one can learn from this simple act of sharing experiences.
I am afraid that this discussion is initially not based on some academic interest, but I welcome any ideas and suggestions that could shed some light on how to deal with this problem, maybe in a more creative way than in a traditional one.
Debra Smith 200+
Kay Walker
Erik Beckler
With my current depression, I was facing behavioral changes in me that convinced me I couldn't manage the process on my own, so I sought help from my doctor, a therapist and medication, all of which helped a great deal. I am much more mature and able to recognize the 'monsters', but have had varying success managing them. I think the part I learned through therapy was to acknowledge the emotional and physical symptoms that come forth from my depression, look to move them off without judgement and proceed on with my life. I learned of some of the prior history and personality components of what breeds my feelings which has also helped in that I can make a decision as to how important those values/traits are compared to what remifications come from them. I believe it will be the small successes that come forth that will get me out of this current state and I will look back more objectively and be able to learn more.
I would have to lean with many others on this discussion and recommend taking steps to move you out of your state as soon as possible (with some internal learning being a part of it) and look to learn afterwards when you have less emotional blockages to cloud your thinking. Good luck.
Yao Liu
I suffered the same experience as you.
To conquer the depression is not as easy as people or books say.
How is everything going on about you now?
Do you have the desire to escape from the reality? I thought that was the source of depression. I constantly told myself to face, to be bold. Sometimes this can help, not always.
Hope we can conquer depression soon. it is really really painful.
Yuri Gomez
"May one actually learn from this?" Yes, we can learn who we really are. The solution seems to rely upon a spiritual path. that's because the mental blocks the mind creates can't be solved with the actual way of thinking. When the mental schemes that create the way of seeing the world are incorrect they create inconsistency, fear, etc. But if one is trying to solve the situation "depression" with the actual way of thinking, the picture get worse.
The practice of presence of spirituality gives us mental clarity, because it leads us to use all our senses, that way we can see how our thinking process and the mind operate. Then we can realize which mental structure are incorrect, incompleted o misperceived. But this is even a result, a result of a understanding of oneself, that goes deeper than a set of beliefs.
For a spiritual guidance you can see Eckart Tolle and for a scientifc explanation you can listen to David Bohm.
regards.
Ivan Ana-Maria
I completely agree with you that one gets to learn an aweful lot about oneself through such experiences. I also think that they may represent accumulations of feelings and emotions that may have been repressed for years, and once they reach a certain limit they can overwhelm you. Exactly as dreams depressive episodes may carry across messages from your subconsious, sometimes warning about an inner inbalance. Maybe depressions come to fill in a similar gap, signaling that there are emotional matters that have to be solved in this particular moment as they become a solid barrier against your further development.
I see this experience as a constructive one because I have to question again and again why this is happening. I have tried some strategies against depressen/writer's block and some gave me a momentary sense of utter enthusiasm. But I understand now that it was just a battle and not the whole war, so to speak and that one has to persevere. However, during this whole process you need to stop and reevaluate, and sometimes you have to go back into your past and retrace the invisible thread that connects a past even with your present, and solving that may be an achievement in itself.
I've come pretty far in identifying the painful spots that may stand for different factors of this equation, and I just have to find my way around them. It is a slow process, but as silly as it may sound, maybe I should be grateful for this. It is a moment of crucial decisions in my life and naturally inner changes or realizations must come before external ones. It is a journey and I am grateful for both the good and negative things I encounter along the way.
Thank you so much for your suggestions, and I agree with your idea of spirituality. Maybe once in a while people need a kind of spiritual updating as well.
I wish you all the best and thank you so much for stopping by,
Ana.
Ripley Bullock
When I feel terribly bad as if I cannot leave the house I tidy a bit, or make dinner for my partner, If feeling a little better I will walk to the shops and pick up some litter along the way, or move a box, help someone on a bus, give to someone who needs it etc. It is important for me to take care in these things and to think about the impact no matter how small.
If I feel capable I volunteer. This is something I do anyway however I feel working for others is humbling.
One thing i do often, that always makes me feel better is to shop for someone in need, where I live there are allot of homeless and I was once part of the ''problem'' no fault of my own. I always remember the random acts of kindness I received and truly believe that that is the one thing that kept me sane! something someone used to do for me is every Wednesday they would buy me lunch. I now do the same, knowing what a difference it makes, that human connection no matter how fleeting makes me feel better even if just slightly.
Another thing I do is to stop. Go somewhere where I can truly absorb how small and insignificant my life is within the bigger picture. I know it sounds weird, often the feeling of being insignificant is a catalyst for, not a preventative action however feeling the wind across my face or seeing the expanse above me helps me understand that nothing is forever. My depression will pass and life is so frail one must take the opportunity to live it to the fullest.
But everyone is different.
Depression however is hard to shake. My only advice is not to take medication for it. It is not known fully the impacts of anti depressants on an individual. Try natural ways to boost serotonin levels, conversation can help, and so do setting personal goals. If you are thinking of getting profetional help, look at the different therapys avalible and choose one that is right for you.
Ivan Ana-Maria
I found your comment so lovely, I had to take its main message with me and literally process it yesterday. I admire this positive attitude that you have, and for some reason it made me think about my mother. I could never understand how she can be so kind to everybody and so understanding, and she is one of the people that simply exult positive energy and joy. ( I started to cry after finishing the sentence, but I am smiling at the same time.)
My mother lives in another country, but she has always given me full support and I couldn't be more grateful for having such a good mother.
Lately, I came to understand how this depressive episode is caused by a mixture of factors, some of them related to bigger things that are not in my power to change. I am sure that this is one of the lessons I must learn this time, namely that you have to cope with a situation, even if you cannot change it, and most importantly that you have to try to fix yourself before fixing something else.
I enjoyed visualizing that image you wrote about and the importance of recognizing one's "insigificance within the bigger picture", I completely agree. And it must be so liberating at the same time. I embrace this feeling of being liberated and being just a small particle in a huge existential desert, and I thank you for sharing them with me.
I think that realizing what you have and being grateful is a sign of being humble at the same time,and only by being humble you can truly and wholeheartedly help someone around you. This is what your message made me think of.
Thank you so much for your words. It was my birthday yesterday and I was happy to have found inspiration in the comments I received here.
I wish you all the best,
Ana.
Timo X
Did you know that your facial expression can change how you feel? This seems trivial, but is not. Having something to do, having fun, that is the only way to get out of a depressed state of mind. Focusing on your 'monsters' as you call them, only serves to make you unhappy. Learning from your mistakes is important, but dwelling on them is useless. So think happier thoughts: get together with friends, enjoy the sunny weather, flirt with a cute guy, it's up to you.
If what you experience is real clinical depression and not 'just' a bout of sadness, it would be good to get some help like Robert Winner recommended. If you really are depressed, doctors will recommend some pills and some exercise; that's good advice. But they will also tell you to get a social life and a hobby; and that's excellent advice.
Kind regards,
Timo
Robert Winner 50+
I am going to talk to you like a real friend. Get help. Stoip asking for opinions of the unqualified. Your post is screaming for help .... well friend ..... get professional help before you compound your problems.
When you are rich and internationally acclaimed .... remember where you once were and lend a hand to someone in need. I wish you all the best .... face the dragons .... Bob
Ivan Ana-Maria
I appreciate the honest and wise approach that you so kindly suggested to me. However, without meaning to sound stubborn, I decided to take this experience as a kind of self-discovery. I have tried to talk to a doctor, but all I could receive was an eventual appointment in 6 weeks. I take this as another indicator that I must face this on my own. And there is nothing undermining or unnatural in this, it is just an obstacle that must be addressed now and not later.
I have taken your advice to my heart as well, and I will consider it, although I must at least attempt to find my way out at first and see how this goes. There are people that communicate so easily with their true self, and it was never my case, but maybe this is the right moment to start laying the ground for a better relationship with my own self as well.
I apologize for making this conversation so much about myself, when there so many important topics altruistically approached on this website. But maybe there are other people facing such a moment in their lives and this whole palette of thoughts on depression and writer's block will help them as well.
My kind regards to you, Bob!
Thank you again for your kind comment,
Ana.
Robert Winner 50+
May I suggest a tactic I use in brain storming projects and think it will also help you.
Develop lists: Negative life experiences ... posative life experiences ..... what makes you sad ... what makes you happy .... fears / phobias ... You get the picture ...
Look for common denomiators. Even if this is not an immediate help, it would be a really great tool for any professional later.
When looking at the lists / charts ... it is very important that you also see where the holes are. You will see gaps ... omissions ... This is where the road gets very rough ... you must fill in those holes. That is where a professional wants to go and you do not. This will be a really hard thing to do.
Suggestion. Make the appointment (6 weeks away) and if you have made no progress keep the appointment.
I wish you success. Bob
Zdenek Smith 100+
If you haven't start to exercise regularly. Exercise is one of the most important tools to prevent or minimize depression and to make onself feel more energetic, creative and positive.
Stop watching TV or at least news. Don't read newspapers that focus on reporting murders and other negative activities.
Eat healthy.
Avoid or minimize medications. Their side effects can include depression.
Get a good sleep. The best way is to get used to go sleep early and wake up early. You will find having more energy and ideas after a good night sleep.
Have enough light and sunshine. I have read about several scientific studies that suggest as we get older our eye get much less certain specturm of light. If needed use artificial light lamps for a small periods of time but be aware of possible UV rays.
Connect with possitive people and keep sociallizing regularly with your friends/family, not online but in real life.
Meditate and frequently remind youself about what you are greateful for this day, week etc.
cheers
Fenni Sim
Talking to a close peer or family member whom you are comfortable with helps to. At least you get someone to know about your problems and I'm sure they will be there if you need them.
Or start a blog to write down your feeling and thoughts, or why are you feeling upset. Then as you read back on your posts, you might just as well identify the root of the problems. :)
Also, writing helps you to relieve stress and if you are not comfortable with telling anyone the problems, it can be a very helpful..
Chetan Somani
good idea.
i dint know writing does have an advantage.
will start practising it!!!
Ivan Ana-Maria
Thank you for your advice. Thanks to it I actually went to sleep scheduling a 'meeting' with my fear for the next morning. This is really wonderful and exactlly like drawing and painting, it is a way to look deep within yourself.
Have you ever tried writing as a therapy yourself?
Fenni Sim
Whenever you are feeling down, you can just write it down, even if it's 10 or 20 times a day.
No one would judge you.
I wish you all the best. :)
Zdenek Smith 100+
Ivan Ana-Maria
I appreciate your enthusiasm about writing, and I completely agree with you both. I think that creative activities (writing, drawing) are ways to access your subconcious, as in my experience I often found myself surprised of what I was reading about myself in my written or graphic past endevors. And even if it is a very personal journey, I am happy to know that there are other people that enjoy its simple and natural benefits. With this in mind I must brace myself for a journey of my own.
I wish you both all the best,
Ana.
Ivan Ana-Maria
I appreciate your advice and I believe that I am on the right track.
Thank you for your comment and for all your suggestions.
Zdenek Smith 100+
I think it is the best to start with sport and/or exercise because if you do that regularly you will start having energy and positve thoughts in taking on the rest. =)
It is great to hear about your sport activity and good luck!
cheers
Fritzie Reisner 100+
I ask these questions because depression has different forms and different causes and your best road to freedom might depend on your specifics.
You probably know that a great deal has been written about ways of dealing with such fears and with the creative blocks that may follow from them.
Ivan Ana-Maria
Maybe it is important to mention that my world as I see it right now is one that is narrowing down and becoming this claustrophobic space of intense anguish and time pressure.
Approaching specific literature on this topic could be an option. But I was interested in how one usually enters and exits such an experience.
"The best road to freedom" sounds very appealing, but also enormously difficult.
Some people find confort and support in God, some maybe in science. But at the end of the day I wonder how "constructive" depression can be, what does it leave behind it once it's gone. Is there always a painful core somewhere, ready to be activated, or can one be permanently 'cured' of it?
Thank you for your suggestion to look up how one can fight writer's block. Maybe it is also a cultural manner of dealing with this. In my culture (Romanian) going to a therapist is still something that not everybody can afford, so...in front of an imperative such as "Just toughen up!" I find myself wondering how to actually positively work with this, or how to make something good out of it. (Or, ideally, how to just male it dissapear.)
My degree will be in British and American Studies.
Fritzie Reisner 100+
Another useful step is to approach a friend to whom you can start trying to articulate your fears.
A project like a thesis doesn't always flow easily. Sometimes not staring at it when ideas aren't coming but rather going out for a fast walk can help.
The website Lateral Action (with which I have no affiliation) has a free downlaodable ebook called something like 20 types of Creative Block and how to overcome them. Download and read it in case it helps. You have nothing to lose. The author is an intelligent, well read guy.
Ivan Ana-Maria
I am now reading the book you recommended to me and I am quite excited about it.
Thank you for your kind thoughts an suggestions! I may come back with a conclusive idea on the book after reading it. Have a lovely day,
Ana.