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Rosa Park

DIRECTOR of DEVELOPMENT, Pink Shirt Day Panama

TEDCRED 500+

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What is the reason behind suicides? Why do they lose the courage to struggle?

Its amazing.. Almost phenomenal how people continue to struggle. They continue to reach out for what they long. They continue to carry the courage to struggle for hope.
People live for one single thing - hope.
Whether it be the hope for a better future, better jobs, better grades, or even a better Barbie, they hang on to it. Maybe some might think that it is pointless to struggle and give in to the fall, until their bodies are given to the dead.
Maybe, the cruel devastating truth is that they do this because they don’t want to exist.

I personally am frightened of how scary it'd be to not exist, to not be able to see this beautiful life laid in front of them. All you need to do is live! But.. Why do people willingly continue to struggle and make themselves vulnerable to pain?

Why do they easily lose that courage?

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  • Jun 3 2012: As you said above, it's the loss of that fundamental reason to live. Something has happened to make someone become so depressed that they feel that they can not get out of it; that there is nothing in front of them to live for, that it would be easier to just go. A lot of the time, someone has made a remark- saying that they should, that it would be easier, that the world would be better, etc. Something like every forty seconds someone commits suicide; that is an extremely large number of people who can't see how beautiful they are. It's hard to find a reason to live sometimes; and what about that big question- what is the meaning of life? Sometimes people can't answer that question at all, and they look around and feel that nobody loves them, that they have nothing to live for, and that it would be easier to end it. I personally struggle through the day due to depression, and at times I have seen the appeal; but I have a family who support me. The thing is, many people don't. They lose hope, and feel no love.
    To take your own life means that you have to be in the darkest place possible, and sometimes all you need is for someone to stop you. But that is the problem, in today's society we find that most people never take the time to notice other people and their paines; and that can leave the suicidal person without someone who can pick them up; it leaves them feeling without love- and that is the main reason we live.
    Hope that helps :)
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    Jun 4 2012: Thank you for starting this conversation! I really am glad that you brought all of this up..

    Actually, I'm trying to get him to check it out.. I think he really could find some inspiration and support here

    Thanks for the suggestions, I'll try to ask him about doing something like that!
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    Jun 4 2012: Hmm. This is an issue that I've been orbiting around for a while now.. I have several teenage friends who've either seriously considered it or have attempted it. - Ironically they all share something in common: Little family support as well as few, if any, true friends.

    I think that people who consider it are feeling worthless, powerless and hopeless.. They feel like the entire world is squeezing the life out of them.. Feeling like everything's always their fault and/or that they have no hope for a happy life.

    When it comes to adolescents I think there's a lack of support from family and peers.. and there needs to be something to enable them to make meaningful change in their lives or the lives of others somehow (helping others makes you feel good :)..

    I'm really worried right now because I have a good friend that is in severe depression and I know he's been thinking about it.. But he lives in Canada and I live in the US.. and I really don't know what to do other than try to be a great friend and listen to him.. and try to encourage him.. but he has no one in his life that is really kind to him... - It just torments me as much knowing that people could be like that... I think it's a bigger scope problem about society which is making the majority of the people around him horrible people somehow... Ugh. :

    I've struggled with this before.. Never attempted.. but always wondering what each person would think/feel if I did it.. Because I haven't had a very strong support system from friends or from family. I have been feeling better for a few weeks because.. well, I found TED XD! TED inspired me and also let me know that there are other people who actually think and care.. And they're the leaders. Holy crap! x)
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      Jun 4 2012: Thank you for your answer Garrett!

      I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Some of my friends in my school have been been through to same. The majority of them have been bullied by others or had unhealthy relationships with their families. It really must suck that you are not next to him to help him through the way. If I may give you some suggestions, maybe introduce him to TED too? As you've stated, TED is a great way to learn about what others go through. Another way to help (maybe) is to suggest him to write a book about his life. My friend, after she went through that period in life, met with a therapist who suggested her to write. She explained how this might be a helpful way of letting out feelings and begin looking for a closure. I, personally, paint when I get depressed because that's what I enjoy doing. If not writing, suggest him to do other things that he enjoys! Maybe it'll help.

      I hope my suggestions are valid and applicable! Once again, thank you for your answer and I wish you all the luck in the world for your friend!
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    Jun 3 2012: I had a psych instructor who told me that all people who commit sucide recieve some type of permission. By that I mean that someone in the family did it so it is ok. Someone said go ahead no one will miss you. Or some other remark that allowed the person to proceed. I have been to some scenes and the women always clean house, wash cloths, etc ... they don't want anyone to think they were bad homemakers. In the prison population once the decision is made the load is off and they are in a really great mood and very cheerful and cooperative just after the decision is made and before the act. Some people say they are cowards. I thought aboiut that and I think it would take a strong person with lots of resolve.

    The why is as many as the stars in the sky. Notes are for forgiveness not an explaination in most cases.

    Has this touched your life and are seeking a explaination?

    All the best. Bob
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      Jun 3 2012: I highly appreciate your answer, Bob. As for your question, I haven't been personally exposed to this. The thought of suicide has always devastated me. So, I [personally] do not consider this as a way out of my troubles. However, as a teenager, I've heard uncountable number of stories where people around my age attempt at doing this. Every time I hear these stories, I'm worried then depressed for their lives and them. Then I start wondering, why? Therefore, the search for the answer has led me into starting this conversation.
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    Jun 2 2012: Hi Rosa, You said it yourself - they lose hope, they lose the courage to carry on. Maybe they feel overwhelmed by fear, loss, hopelessness, anger, failure, loneliness... I guess each suicide has their own very personal reason.

    It is very sad for those who remain, but for the departed it's an end to their suffering - either into nothingness or to an all loving and forgiving God.
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    Jun 3 2012: Wow Rosa - you have a noble name!
    I think the desire to commit suicide arises when all hope of reducing the pain that an individual feels is lost. When they see no end to their agony (whether real or imagined and only their opinion matters in this case) they search for ways to end their suffering.
    This is a horrible chain of events because research demonstrates that suicide looks as though it is contageous. So, for example if a father commits suicide- the children of the family and other relatives are at FAR greater risk of making the same choice. Another weird fact is that they must keep the method of suicide of famous people quiet because there is usually a rash of imitations following a suicide of a famous person.
    I believe that cognitive types of therapy may work well. Make sure that person feels some kindness and compassion. Be sure to spell out exactly why their contribution is crucial and finally, inform them of what that choice will do to their family. The information is sufficient for most parents.
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      Jun 4 2012: Thank you Debra!

      I agree. The terrible and horrific realization is that maybe this is contagious.

      Now, I have another question for you. Why do you think the number of suicides is increasing as history progresses? (I should start a new conversation)
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    Jun 2 2012: In this case we should highlight two things:

    1. Thinking, reasoning
    2. Feeling, ego

    When the two pillars are failed to get a solution for people, then people tend (not always) to suicide.

    Failure of reasoning because, at that time there was not enough database which was used as the premise for a conclusion that was considered as an alternate choice. Or, based on observation or experience, that there was condition and it was continuing and it was considered, changing into a threatened for their safety (not salvation for the ego), and they didn't have a way to fix this, so the death was considered as being equivalent to a deadlock (and in a contrary), and they did suicide.

    Failure of the "feeling", if someone having pressure on ego, in which a person didn't feel appreciated and they felt this threat already exceed the limits of their personal tolerance, but failed to save the ego, then they did suicide.

    The points are:

    People will tend to suicide when they consider there will be no further tolerance for them, there will be no further chances to make correction for them and there will be no further compensation for them.

    Our duties to people that comitted suicide, that we should make a deep analysis to them whether someone is threatened because logical or ego, then we should try hardly to find out, how to give a hope, direction, guidance, for their logical or ego, by giving possibilities to:

    - adjust their tolerance
    - a chance to make correction
    - or giving an alternate completion (compensation)

    So hopefully, they will adjust their perspective and they will think & feel having a safety (fairness), possibilities to fulfill their logical (reasoning) and ego.

    Less or more ...