This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »
Do you think it's even possible to be 100% happy and fulfilled?If yes, what's your way to do it? If no, why is it so deeply essential to us?
As humans we spend so much (if not all) of our time trying to achieve happiness and fulfillment. Some people try to achieve their happiness from outside themselves, others go inwards towards their thoughts and emotions to achieve happiness. Its something I think about and I'm very interested to hear your opinions :)
Closing Statement from jag .
Thanks everyone for your answers, it was interesting reading them :)
toni powell
When you get pregnant suddenly the world is full of pregnant women - to you. They were there all along, of course, but you were not attuned to them. It is the same with where our focus is.
I believe our brains get into little easy grooves and what you focus on you find. My life circumstance is no different but everything about it feels different now because my focus is different, my conversations are different and I can be happy most of the time - if I want to.
I have been stunned by the power of daily gratitude practice. It has transformed so much of my life.
jag . 50+
Ed Schulte 50+
."You may not be happy, But you will be at Peace ;-) "
Asra Ranjbaran
I saw many people look for happiness and relaxation in life. They change many things to achieve it. I saw many super rich family or very important persons who are looking for happiness. Recently, by the many unusual events in my life I understand that if you search your happiness out of yourselves, you won’t find anything. Calm and happiness is a sense has to create in you. It won’t have any reason out of you. In this case if anything happen, you are fulfilled and happy and can spread your feelings to another. I had many bad moments when I was sure no one can help me. At the moment I decide to do not searching happiness and relaxation out of myself, everything is going well.:)
jag . 50+
http://www.urbanmonk.net/136/loneliness-the-beginning-of-romance/
Asra Ranjbaran
VIJAYA JAYARAMAN
Eugene Huffman
Read the comment below... Peter said the same thing in fewer words.
Peter Johnson
Drew Bixby
mariac acciaio
whylife k
"Distress teaches vice. Despair is the source of misguidance; and darkness of heart, the source of distress of the spirit." (aphorism)
"Temporary pains should be smiled on rather than temporary pleasure being smiled on, and should be welcomed. For past pleasures cause one to say: “Alas!”, and “Alas!” is the interpreter of a concealed pain. While past pains cause one to say: “Oh!”, and “Oh!” tells of a permanent pleasure and bounty. ( aphorism)
"The most wretched, distressed, and suffering of men is the man with no work. For idleness is the cousin of non-existence, while striving is the life of existence and the waking state of life."( aphorism)
Jonathan Huffman
Long answer: It is not possible, because we are creatures of emotion, of hormones, and of desires. Even the most Zen of Buddhists must still battle against passion. Other religions embrace passion, and preach indifference to harm as the solution to negative emotions. The belief in an ultimate good, an ultimate truth, and an ultimate sense of meaning are also quite comforting, but none of this promises happiness all the time, or even to your greatest level of capacity. We all know that material wealth and comforts aren't the source of happiness (though it could be argued that having them does take a load off of one's mind in terms of where lunch will come from).
The truth is that there's no way to achieve complete happiness, and the reason it is "essential" is merely because we have been raised to believe that we deserve it. It is not essential. Really, nothing is essential. That sounds nihilistic and existential, but really it's the same idea that Solomon puts forth in Ecclesiastes. Your life doesn't mean anything, nobody's does. If you are religious, then the main point of this existence is to prepare for moving on to a better existence, and nothing in this existence matters (except those preparations). If you are an atheist, then there is no better existence, and from an objective, long term point of view, nothing matters at all. Either way, it is up to you to give your own life meaning and fulfillment. Personally, I find the thought that nothing much matters a comfort in itself: it means that if I screw things up it's no big deal. My life can be world-altering, or I can subsistence farm in Tanzania. The one is no more valuable than the other.
John Diff
On a side note, I find it odd that so many seem unaware of the fact that happiness is a choice. It is not contingent on circumstances or abilities. This is proven by the fact that so many of the world's most unfortunate people are immensely happy, while the most fortunate are often the most miserable. It's all about perspective and the choice to be happy or, perhaps as is more often the case, the choice to be unhappy.
Chris Blakemore
Drew Bixby
Eugene Huffman
Comment deleted
jag . 50+
'Be yourself, you have no choice'
DivineInterllect .
The more we become conscious of our reality and bare witness to all the atrocities we begin to question our very existence and our purpose and responsibility in it.
Edlyn Unverferth
There are atrocities, but there are also ways to alleviate the pain of the people going through those atrocities. That is where purpose, responsibility, and (for myself anyway) the meaning of existence come from.
Eugene Huffman
jag . 50+
My understanding is that the Buddha said attatchment is the cause of all suffering, so inwards to allieviate suffering.
Andrea Morisette Grazzini 30+
In it's best sense wisdom generally implies depth of understanding as a human or, of "being". As opposed to knowledge, which implies depth of information or data. And I quibble that meditation and reflection alone can't achieve joy, without intentional engagement of pain.
Engaging difficulties within self and with others allows us to grow through and with them. We suffer most when we deny pain. The continual practice of facing and, more so, feeling pain, is much "messier" than meditation, but both serve equal roles to cleanse and renew us and "make room" for emotional growth and equally powerful experiences of joy.
I'd add that when we engage authentic feelings of happiness and sadness in community with others, the effects are amplified and, in turn, reflected back to us. Spiritual leaders like Ghandii and Dalai Lama are good examples. They embody a balance of meditative reflection and purposeful living. Important to note this model requires literal (not just spiritual or intellectual) work on efforts to solve cultural issues that distribute pain (injustice) unfairly. Thus such "healers" are healed through often brutal work in pursuit of abetting others' happiness.
Why so many view them as our most wise leaders, I'd argue.
Ed Schulte 50+
...but then, on the other hand ....suffering ...the other side of "Happy" (because Happy is always short lived) works as a great teacher as the HHtDL points out. See Chapter two.
By the bye isn't what you are really asking re: "100% Happy" realy about "Joy" ??? and not "Happy" ...the latter resides in Duality while JOY ...has no opposite //// doesn't switch to suffering etc etc ...Joy is a Non-reflected IOW direct Unconditional Love......... where as Happy is reflected./ Conditional love.
Not wanting to start a word play here ...it is an important question we as HUman beings are in this form for a clear purpose ...it just gets fuzzed up by words sometimes ;-)
sulav duwal 30+
1) By active pursuit of happiness (having all the luxurious thing in life, cars etc.....)
2) Engagement (Partaking in thing you enjoy doing)
3) Seeking an overarching meaning in life (like helping slum in India like Mother Teresa)
The problem with the first option is that after a while a person get habituated and in the modern time where there is no limit for expectation, people will look at the things that they don't have rather than what they have.
The second and third options are stronger and more helpful for contentment and the first option serves as whip and cherry on the cake if you have second and third options.
Harald Jezek 50+
In my opinion the key to it lies in the question of how much your expectations and real life experience match.
If your expectations are constantly unrealistically high, than you run the risk of not being happy. This doesn't mean that one shouldn't have goals and dreams, but only that there must be a reasonable probability of fulfillment of these dreams.
jag . 50+
toni powell
"Expectations are resentments under construction."
— Anne Lamott
Mario Quinn
The mother repled, "Silly kitten, learn from me. My tail is also happiness, but I simply go about my business, and it follows me wherever I go."
For me, happiness is not a goal to be sought, but rather an after-effect of a life well lived in the present moment. As someone said, "The treasure is in the journey, not in the destination."
marcel marshall
jag . 50+
Sara Kay
For the logic, I think it depends on the person on the way they try to be happy. Some people just feel a need to be kind to people while others are selfish and don't want to share. Its just human nature. (i'm not really sure, but this is what I think)
jag . 50+