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Dyed All Hues

Thinker and Experimenter,

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Love is not the strongest emotional force within a person......

Disclaimer: I am writing in a conversational tone, so please bear with me.

As I was standing in my shower earlier, all of a sudden I came to the realization that selfless, kind acts positively impacts the environment of an individual. I instantly felt light-headed. I couldn't standup any longer, so I sat on the tub, though that wasn't the only epiphany that I had at that second.

The weird part was that when I realized the power of selflessness, this lead me to the realization that I just had an epiphany. So, as silly as that sounds, I had an epiphany about having an epiphany.

I began to contemplate the chemical changes, even though I didn't fully understand these chemical changes, in my mind when I had the epiphany 'that selfless kind acts positively impacts the environment of an individual', I then realized that the instant that I had this strong epiphany, which has never happened before, but this is the part that caused me have another epiphany.

If I could have measured my mind the instant that these chemical changes occurred when I had an epiphany, then I bet that they would have been really intense. I think back to the epic fairytale love story I had just watched before my shower, and this lead me to realize that love and selflessness together is a "powerful magic".

This brought me to a strong conclusion that my epiphanies accumulated together felt like a supernova just went off in my mind! This led me to the conclusion that the Power of Epiphanies is the strongest emotional force within an individual human being. Epiphanies, more addictive than Love, but heals your heart faster than Selfless Acts.

Multiple epiphanies truly felt better than anything I have ever felt before within my body. This is what sets us apart from others species on Earth; it is the ability for multiple epiphanies at an instant, which sets us apart. Epiphanies is also known by others as insight.

Thank you for reading my thoughts. Hope to read yours. =)

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    May 20 2012: Hi Derek,
    There is a theory, which I embrace, suggesting that at any given moment, we are coming from a place of love or a place of fear. Love and/or fear are the basis for all emotions.

    Respect, kindness, contentment, joy, happiness, compassion, empathy, humor, epiphanies, etc. are all from a place of love. I believe this state of being is "powerfully magical", as you recognize:>) It builds and feeds on itself and can start a ripple effect for all those around us:>) I agree that we can have "multiple epiphanies at an instant".

    Disrespect, discontent, anger, frustration, stress, tension, anxiety, hate, lack of compassion/empathy are all fear based, and when we give these emotions power, we often miss the magical moments:>)
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      May 20 2012: Colleen,
      I like to see fear rather as the absence of love, like darkness is the absence of light, coldness the absence of heat and silence the absence of sound.

      It is all energy that supports life or lack of any that deteriates it.
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        May 20 2012: Hi Frans....nice seeing you:>)

        I can see your perspective...to a certain extent. I agree that it is all energy.

        Actions or behaviors need energy don't they? So would actions/behaviors caused by fear (disrespect, abuse, violation of rights, for example) be considered "lack" of energy in your perception?

        I think that to act on either love or fear takes energy. When love or fear manifest into action, it needs energy?
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          May 20 2012: The pleasure is mutual.

          I've seen some pretty nice comments from you elsewhere Colleen and now again you have a sensible question.

          Abuse as violation are often called weaknesses.

          Love is the creating force.
          With love you build and without it even the most solid building falls apart over time.

          Like I said previously if love isn't present anymore bad things happen to discover it anew.
          Suffering is the shortest way to rediscover love even though a lifetime often isn't sufficient to open the eyes but then life we live many times over.

          Life is a one way road. No matter how much one goes astray in the end lies the same ideal that brings all and everyone together. Light, love and beauty are guidelines on the track.
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        May 20 2012: Thank you Frans, and I appreciate your comments as well:>)

        I agree that abuse and violation of rights are weaknesses. I also agree that with love we build, and light, love and beauty are guidelines.

        I still think/feel that fear needs energy to exist. To even contemplate fear uses energy, and then to act on fear uses more energy. If we did not give fear energy, it could not exist. If we did not fuel fear with thoughts and feelings, there would be nothing there. So, I agree with you that the most solid building falls apart without love.....aaaawww....there it is!!! When/if we have enough love, there is an absence of fear:>)
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          May 21 2012: Hello Colleen I really like this back and forth between you and Frans, it is like I am in the room listening to you both.

          What about pain and pleasure? When you say that respect, kindness, contentment, joy, happiness, compassion, empathy, humor, epiphanies, etc. are all from a place of love I must pause.

          I believe love, True Love, is so unique because it is both pain and pleasure. One can love so much that it causes pain. If the individual receiving your love is hurt, killed, or generally in pain you will also hurt. Love create the fear of loss. It encompasses pain and pleasure in equal balance.

          Frans illustrates this idea when he states that suffering creates love even if it is not apparent.

          Love the only emotion which is typically balanced in most people, it is selfless but selfish, it is kind and harsh, and it exists without reason in the mind of the afflicted.
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        May 21 2012: Hi Adam...glad you joined in:>)

        I agree that we can experience pain and pleasure within love. I suggest that if we are loving "so much that it causes pain", we may be coming from a place of fear, rather than genuine love?

        I agree that if the individual receiving and/or giving love is hurt, killed, or in pain we may also hurt with them. That would be considered compassion/empathy, which is love. I believe we can face pain without fear, and there can be an element of fear with pain. In my experience, pain and pleasure are not always equally balanced. It totally depends on the circumstances...does it not?

        Suffering is caused by holding onto pain, so if we know how to move through pain with love (compassion, empathy, patience, kindness, etc) we don't necessarily have to suffer. The Dalia Lama says something that I agree with..."Pain is inevitable...suffering optional". I personally have had quite a lot of physical and emotional challenges in my life experience and I don't feel that I have ever suffered.

        I don't agree that love creates the fear of loss. The fear of loss may be created if we are less secure with the love.

        Pain, is acute mental or emotional distress; source of annoyance.
        We CAN be in a state of love when experiencing pain.

        Pleasure is a state of gratification frivolous amusement; a souce of delight or joy.
        No question that we can be in a state of love when experiencing pleasure.
        We can also be in a state of fear when experiencing both pain and pleasure.

        We are multi dementional, multi sensory beings and can experience many different emotions at the same time. What we focus on expands, and as we know ourself, we can choose what we focus on.
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          May 21 2012: Colleen, The Dalai Lama would probably explain further that love or pleasure can become negative when we become attached to them and create expectations ie.. we fear losing them or, as you expressed about pain, we hold onto to them and can not let go. Pain or pleasure are merely transitory sensations, we amplify and feed them (give them power) by focusing on them.
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        May 21 2012: Hi Chad,
        That is what I was refering to with my statement..." I suggest that if we are loving "so much that it causes pain", we may be coming from a place of fear, rather than genuine love?"

        I agree that this scenario may be attachment, expectations that we feel may not be met, fear of loss, etc. I also agree that pain or pleasure are transitory sensations, and what we focus on expands....we can feed them with the power/energy of our focus.

        You write..."....love or pleasure can become negative when we become attached to them and create expectations...".
        So, it is not the love or pleasure that is negative, it is the attachment that is problematic...is it not?
        If we change our perception of attachment/expectations, love is very simply love:>)
        It's a LOT more pleasurable when it is given and recieved unconditionally:>)
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    May 21 2012: As usual Colleen I agree with you wholly. Looking even deeper from a Buddhist perspective it is said that all suffering comes from two unbalanced emotions, aversion and desire. I recently had the thought; while wondering what motivates the aversion-fear dynamic, that it must be a world view that sees the glass as half empty and that most resources are not only finite but also insufficient to fill our needs. This scarcity belief explains why so many otherwise decent people feel justified with their obsessive concern that some undeserving person might get 'something' (money, food or other resource) and thus cause them to miss out of "their" fair share. I heard recently that if the funds spent on "defense" for one week were diverted it would feed all the hungry people in the world for a year. If no one was hungered nor felt insecure it seems to me we could spend less on defense. So finally we can say that all suffering is caused by false perceptions or wrong views. A Buddhist tries to cultivate the view that we are all part of one universe thus we cannot harm another without harming ourselves (and those we love). Conversely we cannot help another sentient being and fail to benefit ourselves. Cultivating this view increasingly cuts the roots of all evil thoughts and actions. Trust and cooperation can create abundance where there was nothing before. War can blow a trillion dollar surplus in months and create trillions more in deficits leading to world wide suffering. At least that is my view of the last 12 years.
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      May 21 2012: Thank you Chad, for your feedback, which I appreciate very much:>)

      I agree that perceptions of the glass as half empty, perceptions of scarcity and perceptions of insufficient resoures, often cause fear.

      I sometimes ponder the money we spend on war and how the change in use could change our world, and I agree that if we could meet the very basic needs of many people in our world, perhaps there wouldn't need to be wars? I agree that generally, suffering is caused by false perceptions.....things we are focusing on and giving our energy to, that do not benefit our global community.

      I agree that we are all part of one universe, and cannot harm another without harming ourselves and those we love, and we cannot help another and fail to benefit ourselves. For that theory to work in our global community, we need to be aware of our interconnectedness. To cultivate this view, some folks need to let go of their attachment to believing that they are one lone individual with no connections to each other.

      When I speak about love, I am usually talking about unconditional love for/with all people...respect, compassion, empathy, kindness, trust, cooperation, honesty, a belief in the abundance of our world as a whole. I share your view Chad:>)

      Regarding Buddhist perspectives...
      Although I do not practice any particular religion or philosophical belief, my natural beliefs are more alligned with Buddhism than any other belief.

      For years, I was puzzled by this, because my devout Catholic mother was my incredible teacher/guide, and I abandoned the catholic tradition as a young person. A few years ago, I had a little AHA moment because of a comment by the Dalai Lama. He said, if we are good Christians, we are good Buddhists, and if we are good Buddhists, we are good Christians. I interpret this to mean that if we are good people, it doesn't matter what religious or philosophical belief we allign with. My mom LIVED her beliefs with integrity and unconditional love:>)
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    May 20 2012: These "multiple epiphanies" you are experiencing is what Eastern Philosophies have a long time now called "enlightenment." Enlightenment is not just a one time thing and that is usually the idea/experience/expression for the "first enlightenment" - masters would want their students to gain this awareness of enlightenment without dictating that enlightenment is CONSTANT, I am not a master, so I have no problem dictating this idea! So epiphanies are natural for reflecting on our thought processes and our "self" - metacognition and self actualization.

    Indeed higher cognitive abilities do set us apart from our animal counter parts, however we still are animals. These conclusions you are creating about "love" are simply linguistic expressions of mental activity. I would wager more on the fact we want "attachments" to things and people, and emotions follow those attachments. Love is a fuzzy issue. Sometimes we end up loving the people we "hate" than the ones we "love." By, as Lynn noted, 'caring'. If you care more of what your enemy does than your loved ones, who do you really love more? Who are you attaching to more?

    In the brain, the part where emotions are active; love and hate activate basically the same sequence of the brain.

    Emotions overall are a powerful force in our thinking! This is why the emotional intelligence theory is getting popular, which I disagree with, but it is becoming more and more noticeable in cognitive science that we create biases in rational thought simple because we are having an emotional experience.

    So overall, we have this metaphysical desire to 'know' and to be 'happy' - the idea of love comes into play here in this desire. What makes us happy and what gives us a "knowing" will prove to lead us down a path in which we 'love' the aspects of those feelings, thoughts and their connections..

    Overall I agree, but we should also be looking for more ideas to explain how much emotions are apart of our thinking. To evolve education
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      May 21 2012: Hello Dear Nicholas:>)
      I agree that "epiphanies are natural for reflecting on our thought processes and our "self" - metacognition and self actualization".

      Epiphany, as defined, simply means "the sudden manifestation of perception of the essential nature or meaning of something; an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usu. simple and striking"

      If we are living our life with the intent to open the mind and heart to possibilities, it is not unrealistic to experience epiphanies all the time:>) To me, opening the mind and heart is one manifestation of love.

      You say..."Emotions overall are a powerful force in our thinking". Do our emotions stimulate thinking? Or does our thinking stimulate emotions? I suspect it is a cycle. Do "emotions follow those attachments" as you say? Or do we form attachments because of our emotional expectations and insecurities? I suggest it is the latter:>) What do you think/feel?

      If you respond, which I hope you do, please keep it simple? Love is not a fuzzy issue to me, but sometimes your comments are fuzzy/elusive to me:>)
      Love and appreciate you Nicholas:>)
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        May 21 2012: By your own definition of epiphany, sounds a lot like how enlightenment is attempted to be explained a great deal of the time.

        (In response to epiphanies all the time) Also, that was my point in bringing up the enlightenment idea; that it is an "ever" thing. No one moment of enlightenment is superior to another - all of it builds the overall wisdom that is knowledge being used for the practical and the everyday.

        Emotions are apart of our thinking, so yes it is a cycle. They are no separate things. This is why I think the idea of love is relative (fuzzy).

        I love learning, gaining knowledge, literally a philosopher. However sometimes what I know makes me depressed and anxiety kicks in - I in no way consider this a positive thing, but I take from those negatives lessons anyways.

        I recall my own conversation "what is love? should we teach in the pursuit of love?"

        Sky Fenton - suggested 'sorrow' would be far more powerful to teach in pursuit of. An age old phrase "momento mori" comes to mind. Remember we are mortal, that we will die. From this dark thought can shine more thoughts that are very powerful when thinking about life than a positive idea such as the golden rule. (Which I believe is misguided; platinum rule is far superior)

        Now I am considering that attachments in general should be reflected on constantly - that they are the source of all emotions. What we attach ourselves to is ultimately what we "love" in a sense.

        "The unreflected mind is waste" - If we forever just went with what made us "happy" and what makes us feel good - that is a cognitive bias called - optimism bias. Literally suggesting we make decisions based on our emotions being positive towards that individual decision. Meaning we are prone to be irrational in decision making because we are more worried about finding happiness than we with knowing.

        So yes, we do make attachments due to insecurities, unreflection, lack of intellection. Love is just an idea, even when you feel it
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          May 22 2012: Hi Nicholas,
          I love learning and gaining knowledge through exploration as well, and I also agree that we can learn, grow and evolve with all experiences. Even if the situation doesn't seem desirable at the time, I realize down the line, that it offered an opportunity that I may not have had in any other way.

          Actually, I became aware of this a long time ago, so rather than spend very much energy with anger, frustration, disappointment, confusion and anxiety, I decided to go directly to the lesson whenever possible. I like to keep the mind and heart open to possibilities.
          Sometimes it may help to feel disappointed/confused/angry/frustrated for a minute, but I see no point in holding onto those fear based emotions for very long.

          I agree that it helps to reflect on attachments, and I do not see attachments as unconditional love. I believe that what we are drawn to is often where we "spend" our loving energy, but to attach to someone or something can be caused by insecurity, in my perception. There are different levels of attachment too of course.
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    May 30 2012: *New addition to my ongoing idea*

    Hello Fellow Tedsters,

    I was considering different positions; I was thinking that I want to mention that the drive for understanding is our strongest emotional force within a person and empiphanies or insight is just an outcome of this strong desire. This internal force is the force which drives us to love and fear and hate, etc. I believe that love is the strongest emotion though, but not the strongest internal force that drives us to reach these plateaus of emotions.

    Thanks for reading my thoughts and to those that have left thoughful comments below.
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      May 30 2012: Hey derek,
      I want to say Ive been hurt and that has been my biggest drive to understanding. but also my faith in something more my greatest inspiration! jst continuing to look into your conversation. I have recieved some lovely feed back from my comments thankyou for you intrigue.
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        May 31 2012: It is a path that each of us want to understand through dialogue. I am glad to have been able to help you. =)
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    May 21 2012: Hi Colleen

    Previous: http://www.ted.com/conversations/11542/love_is_not_the_strongest_emot.html?c=466131

    We are the member of society.

    We should move to a specific pole, for example pole for love. If we don't want to pass the pole for love, then we are like as an obstacle to others. When we still disagree with the pole for love, then we will be forced by others to move through different pole (pole for fear), forced to go & continuing our journey to the pole for love.

    "Threatened" is not about unfairness. It's stepping stone to another pole of love.

    It's not karma. We just have to move again and again from one pole to another side of cycle (different pole). We just couldn't stay on one pole permanently. Whether we are an enlightened being or not, we still have to move along the cycle.

    For example, our awareness is increasing and it will make us realize about survival and we want to survive and stuck on something (love something). It's the work of nature (ourselves as member). Generally it's a necessity.

    At first, we didn't know what love was. Threatened & survival led us to a condition that we thought should be lived on it. We tried to adapt it and we loved it.

    There isn't way that love will come from the same pole (of love). Goes to a pole from another pole. (Threatened) & put us to move to a safety place as a place for a seed of (love), while we stay on a pole (of love) temporarily and shift to another pole with our desire to secure our life (being threatened - and to survive), for hope we can back to another side of a cycle (pole of love).

    Mystery of nature ..., we are always conditioned. It acts differently that we don't know completely, while ourselves use our free will within boundaries that stand on this http://www.ted.com/conversations/11078/do_we_have_choices_in_life.html?c=453697

    There isn't something bad here.

    Less or more ...
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      May 21 2012: Dear Bernard,
      It feels like our conversation is like passing ships in the night! I'm not sure why you posted a link to THIS conversation.

      I KNOW "we are the member of society"...I speak about our connectedness all the time, and have mentioned it on this comment thread.

      "Threatened" is fear based, which I think we already agreed on.

      I agree that we can move toward love in each and every moment.

      I agree that as humans, we are evolving to be more aware.

      I don't know what you are refering to when you say..."at first, we didn't know what love was". I have known about unconditional love since I was a child.

      I totally agree..."there isn't something bad here".
      I agree..."less or more":>)
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        May 21 2012: Hi Colleen

        The first link, was intended to track the continuity of our conversation easily, while the second link represent my understanding that relevant to this conversation and to solve the limitation in TED (since we have limitation for only 2000 characters to talk about love).

        I believe that we are finite, and our freedom as far as on whom we rely, therefore our love has limitations, and that's why we love something in limited ways. Our love is conditional within limits.

        If unconditional love must be there for real (without doubt), then unconditional love should be happened by ignoring all the possibilities. It is not possible, since we are imperfect. Even if it is considered possible, then that kind of love (unconditional love) is coming not from us, but it has to do with the power greater than ourselves and to put this unconditional love to us, to be able to love someone at best.

        For me, if unconditional love exists, it's the love that meets certain conditions which we consider as the best standard. Unconditional love in my opinion, could be replaced to "i will express my love at best". At best, as far as we know according to our own knowledge and what we believe.

        And mothers (generally) can give unconditional love (at best) that represent typical of mother as someone that gave our birth (most precious gift).

        Thank you Colleen

        Warmest
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          May 21 2012: Bernard,
          If your love is conditional, that is a choice you make. I prefer unconditional love, which does not "ignore" anything. Unconditional love is mindful and very aware. I choose unconditional love. You can choose whatever you want to experience.

          I agree...we express love "as far as we know according to our own knowledge and what we believe"

          Thank you Bernard for sharing your perspective.
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    May 21 2012: There is the great door.
    To enter is to find your true self.
    This door is inscribed with insight.
    Insight is the final lock.
    To turn to share insight is to turn from the door and re enter your false self.

    Enter first. Become your true self, and insight will flow from you as the spring of love itself.

    You will become the door.

    The door is love.
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    May 21 2012: Derek,
    What you experienced is a love for something greater than yourself. It was not shared love of another person, but love for what makes life possible. Once we can let go of ourselves, we begin to see the grand scheme of life itself, of which we are a part. We sense its connectedness, its power, and an all embracing love that surpasses all understanding. It is more powerful than personal love, because it is the purest love there is. It comes from the very source of life itself. There are no words to describe it. You are fortunate to have experienced it.
  • May 29 2012: well, attachment is the most powerful connection variable in relationships. which is pretty related to 'love.'

    http://www.psychalive.org/2010/07/what-is-your-attachment-style/
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      May 28 2012: Hi Ed,

      I am thankful for the link you left. It was very interesting. I feel very similar to the speaker, and now I have gotten further understanding. This video seems to have had a most postive affect on me. =)

      I hope others watch this link too. =)

      I am not sure what built in limits on TED you write about, but I am not sure there are limits during a conversation, though only if the person limits you, then you move on with another subject. =)
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      May 28 2012: Thanks Ed for that link.

      It's worth hearing. If you know better I'm curious to know.
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          May 28 2012: I read the power of now. I did not get that he had any specific techniques but rather a book report borrowed from Buddhism. Yes living right now is a good thing but most people have trouble getting there from here, he does not give much on how to DO that.
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          May 28 2012: Pat,
          I suggest that "there" is "here"....now. Are we nowhere? Or now here?

          I also suggest that rather than "doing", it is about "being". The difference, for me is that when "doing" something, it is often projected "out there". When "being", I get the image of being fully present. So, it is still "doing", and we are also "being" more a part of the present moment.

          While writing this for example, I'm thinking/feeling nothing else...I am totally here now. I could be writing this and thinking of something else...wishing I was someplace else...etc.

          I believe that's why people sometimes have difficulty "being" in the moment.
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          May 28 2012: Colleen

          I understand what you are saying. The thing is that beingness has layers according to the power of now we are unaware of. The real question is how do you have these epiphanies. A hint is on this discussion:

          http://www.ted.com/conversations/11517/what_working_techniques_do_you.html
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          May 28 2012: Pat,
          I understand that "beingness" has layers. We can be aware of the many different layers by "knowing thyself".

          The definition of epiphanies is simply, "the sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something; an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usu. simple and striking".

          As I mention in another comment on this thread, if we are mindfully aware in every moment, we have manifestation of perceptions that have meaning, and intuitive grasps of reality all the time. I percieve this as exploring our world and experiences with curiosity.

          Once we think we "know" something, the exploration often stops, and if we are not open to new thoughts, feelings, perceptions, ideas, opinions, etc., we simply do not see, hear or assimilate them.

          I agree with your comment on that other discussion thread....."too much thinking":>)
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          May 28 2012: Thanks for the link Ed.
          I've seen that video before. Nothing wrong with what he says but to me he talks a minute in an hour.
          Obviously it's good for many though.
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          May 28 2012: Colleen

          Yes a prerequisite of being here now is communicating here now.
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        May 28 2012: True Pat...I agree...a prerequisite of being here now is communicating here now. Do you notice, however, that people often want to be someplace other than where they are? Doing something other than what they are doing? With someone other than who they are with?

        I see lots of young couples walking hand in hand and they are BOTH on cell phones. I often wonder if they are talking to each other? Or are they both talking to someone else?

        Then folks say they don't know how to calm themselves. I don't believe anyone can be calm and receptive to the possibilities of epiphanies, when the mind/brain is going in several different directions...do you?
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          May 28 2012: One of the tricks to being here and now is to view things as they are. This eliminates a lot of the superfluous noise. Another one is the specious idea of multitasking. Someone on another thread was talking about not getting distracted. In this case I think the question is the answer how do be here now? You be here now.

          Hmm I think we have come with more ways to do this than Mr. Tolle does in his book?
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        May 28 2012: Hmmmmm....so perhaps we need to write a book??? LOL:>)
        I read that book a long time ago, so I really don't remember the details so much at the moment.

        I agree...it's important to accept the reality of the moment.

        If one is distracted, that is the reality of the moment...is it not? So, trying NOT to get distracted is not actually being in the moment?

        For me, the biggest element is to be totally engaged in whatever is happening in the moment...aware, mindful, curious, open heart and mind without judgement:>) Judgement is where a lot of the thinking comes from, don't you think? OOPS...better not to think!!! LOL
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    May 25 2012: Hello Fellow Tedsters,

    My definition of epiphany: a quick aggregation of experiences that reach a point of hightened meaning to the individual.

    My multiple epiphanies was a quick aggregation of almost all my experiences within my life, so far, that reached a point of hightened meaning that I found breath-taking.

    The epiphanies I experienced were not just an experience of love, but also had fear. This linear measurement with love and fear at its poles are moved by our desires to understand. I felt that when I reached my point of understanding it merged both my thoughts of fears and loves in my mind. I was in such a vunerable state, but at the same time felt so empowered. It was really strange, but inviting, like the calls of sirens to the forefront of my mind became so loud they blended into an orchestra. Meaning to things have become hightened now. Life is contingent; it was the right place at the right time. =)
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      May 29 2012: i have found some thing perculiar in another conversation and I have written some thing that could be relivant to my explaining your experience or question. if you bare with me i can follow it up for you derek? by myles horton-Is there such thing as a selfless act of kindness? its from my discussion and response!
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        May 30 2012: Hello walkinthe,

        If possible, could you leave a link that I could access to read this comment you talk about?

        I am very interested in reading about your response. =)

        Thank you.
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          May 30 2012: Hi Derek,
          Sorry i dont know how to find this link. Its in the questions conversations. by myles horton-Is there such thing as a selfless act of kindness?
          thanks for your interest
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          May 30 2012: Hi Derek,
          Sorry i dont know how to find this link. Its in the questions conversations. By myles horton-Is there such thing as a selfless act of kindness? Thanks for your interest I also have on my name a ted profile damien mcminn a similar question that has had some positive feed back : "Isnt love the most powerful thing that can be used against someone or is it vulnerability?".
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    May 23 2012: I find this interesting as i read you conversation derek. I have fallen in to love and found that this person in many ways has sent my life into a negative spiral but i have realised it was all a selfish act of evil and benifit to themselves for investment into themselve as they cannot face there own personal destinies there own. anyway i have only experienced this as as i was spiralling out of control i also was meeting people that have been in volved with me in this place i had not been as i will explain for example in a second. there have been a number of topics just been expressed above these that relate to a story that i have also tried to tell was my experience being in a relationship of love and that of you experience in the shower the power of love and the strength it has to lure you into certain pathss if you get my drift. just to finish my spin- I have loved someone but after this experience i fell into a relationship where a girl that i was with 1 night had been hit and ran over by a car right in front of me. she is ok still recovering though. but as i have experienced and from her own words she said i was one of the most sefless people she had met and prescious to her. her family didnt want anything to do with me so i just said i will be around if she wants me and thats the luck i have and experience with love.in short I loved some one as i have always started and they had issues and never let that love into their life. this might start another subject that you can love more than one person or just i will never be able to love the right PERSON
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      May 25 2012: Hello walkinthe,

      I am sorry to read about the girl you love, but I hope you continue to express yourself and stay patient. Patience will award you great things in life, but also to not be afraid to assert your existence in the world. =)
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      May 25 2012: Haha Adriaan!

      My neurons having a party, now that is funny. I try and think of all views of one concept, and I could certainly understand how it could seem sad of my words. I enjoy my science because that is what keeps me grounded in life, but nature is what enables me to fly. I am glad to announce that I can switch it on and off, but I am currently in an environment that needs me to be grounded. =/
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          May 28 2012: As my past professor has told me "more knowledge can only be a good thing and you shouldn't be depressed you are able to learn something new", so sure, why not, I would love to read more. =)
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          May 29 2012: Not to be dictative, but my professor was a she. =)

          Funny how it is usually common for people to refer to a "he" instead of a "she".
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      May 25 2012: Hi Don,

      I am not sure of your intent with this comment.

      Could you please elaborate?
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    May 21 2012: Hi Colleen

    Previous: http://www.ted.com/conversations/11542/love_is_not_the_strongest_emot.html?c=466488

    We can do unconditional love by doing things (at best) with sincerity, and i do conditional love related to God for rewards. But if we have to educate the value of love of our life, we should put our acts based on sincerity (for goodness), but for the scenarios (frame work) may involve conditional love (that constructed by giving reward & punishment) for educational purposes as stepping stone to make others closer to the sense of love. The rest is up to them.

    Yes i agree with, ... unconditional love is mindful and very aware,

    Thank you Colleen, it's very nice talking to you

    Warmest
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      May 21 2012: Dear Bernard,
      In my perception, unconditional love is not about "doing things"...it is about "being"....as you say....with sincerity.

      If you "do conditional love related to God for rewards"....that is conditional, as you say clearly. Expecting or anitcipating "rewards" is conditional. "Reward and punishment" is conditional. To live that way is fine....if that is your choice. Be aware that there may be other choices.

      I'm not talking about "others" Bernard. It is about us....here and now....and the choices we make. I'm not talking about "them"....I'm talking about us, and the choices we make as individuals:>)
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        May 22 2012: In my opinion, there is no love without acts. For just love as emotional force without proper acts (in my opinion) is like hoping for something better without being exactly placed on it (it's not emotional enough to force us to do something better, it's meaningless). Similar to fear without being threatened is not emotional enough to force us to do something (survival) better, it's meaningless.

        I consider love and fear as tools to achieve higher awareness. Love & fear are not the final frontier.

        Duality (being & doing):

        Sincerity itself, without doing things, is like keeping vibration of love without doing anything. It will not let us go to anywhere (meaningless) unless it should be implemented through acts, that make us having such proper qualities to achieve a state that "being" absorbed into love.

        Non duality (being without doing):

        If we are talking about love as single experience without taking action, and it should be happened (not for others, not for them) only for ourselves, it's within love itself. It's not about "doing things", it's about "being" absorbed into love. There is no sincerity at all here.

        Duality to non duality:

        In general, this is "stuck on something" without distraction, by doing things with sincerity (duality) to achieve enjoyment - wholeheartedly (almost non duality).

        To be specific, we can achieve it by implementing sincerity through acts (through meditating and similar to this), i'd rather call this as "total surrender", but the result is beyond sincerity (as single experience, just "being" without "doing"). It's "being" absorbed within love (fully enjoyment, there is no awareness here, there is no distraction here).

        Where there is awareness (being & doing), there could be sincerity, but where there is no awareness or "being" absorbed" (there is only being) then there is no sincerity in there.

        It's my opinion, less or more ...
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        May 22 2012: Judging (just temporary) from our conversations, i think you are someone that being enlightened. You just have to wait for me :)

        Warmest
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          May 22 2012: Thank you for that very warm comment Bernard:>)

          In my perception, we are all students and teachers. We all have the opportunity to learn, grow and evolve with each other:>)
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        May 22 2012: May God bless life and us :)
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    May 20 2012: Hi Derek, interesting thoughts. Do you think the human mind and body has a limit on how many epiphanies one can experience? , is there a individual limit based on ones capacity for self-awareness? I do know many people who say they have yet to experience one. Are they not seeing them or do thresholds for epiphanies fluctuate?
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      May 20 2012: Hi Stuart,
      I believe the number of epiphanies a human can experience is unlimited. It is simply, "the sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something; an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usu. simple and striking".

      I don't perciece any reason to limit ourselves regarding the number of possibilities to open the mind and heart to perceptions, meaning, intuitive grasp of something...do you?

      I think/feel that self awareness may influence how much we percieve anything, and our ability to be open minded/open hearted definitely influences how we percieve, act and react in the world around us in each and every moment:>)
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      May 25 2012: Hello Stuart,

      I think that there isn't a limit to the number of epiphanies any individual person can experience, but the individual must open up themselves for allowances of experiences. When the individual reaches the "breaking point", he/she will have this experience of multiple epiphanies, but on a larger scale, he/she will be able to experience any experience they wish to engage themselves in, so long as they are open to allowances of experiences. Those experiences which the individual closes themselves to are the either a positive or negative choice. Like for example, I am closed to giving myself the allowance to try meth as a drug, but I am open to the allowance of bungee jumping as an experience for myself.

      It is all up to the individual. I just suggest that indviduals' must open themselves up to these allowances of experiences, or they can only blame themselves for not reaching certain experiences, though the environment can be a key component at times.
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    May 20 2012: I vote for admiration being the strongest and the most effective, secondly the emotion you have when you are playing a game at a high level (even if it is your profession).
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      May 25 2012: Hi pat,

      I'm not sure I understand what you mean.

      Admiration, as in love?
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        May 25 2012: On second thought admiration is not an emotion, it is present in aesthetics(which is an emotion), art, I don't think necessarily in love. It is the commodity that will cut through most any attitude. E.G. the aloof rich guy will respond nicely to admiration, artists have a large amount of admiration in their tool box.
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      May 25 2012: Hello Ed,

      I am curious as to what you mean by conditioning and position alities?

      Some more explanation of your terminologies would help me understand your response better.

      Thanks.
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    May 20 2012: So many epiphanies! Would one have guessed there could be one epiphany after another after another.

    On a more serious note . . . i have proposed that 'to care' is more important than 'to love'. Caring is that selflessness of which you speak, whereas love looks for something in return.
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      May 20 2012: Lynn,
      To care is the result of love.
      To expect something in return isn't love, to my mind it is business.
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        May 20 2012: To care is the result of being human.
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          May 25 2012: Love is chemicals with the equivalence to cocaine (watch the Tedx above by Helen Fisher), caring is less obsessive and addictive, but spreading positive energy will always loop from the giver to reciever, then continues looping. Those that break these positive energies are lacking or without positive energy, but another with positive energy must spread that energy for that individual to start spreading the positive energy again. Those that lack positivity in their lives will have a hard time starting that initiative to be positive, but the strong will always bounce back, though everyone could use some therapy in life from their environment. Spread the positive energy and that is what brings about our care, but love is also a good thing, though it focuses one person to another individual, so allow empathy to play its part. =)
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    May 20 2012: Epiphany ..., you are correct. And when it comes to reality, it converted (to be more specific) to: "Love is one of the poles of a cycle, where the other pole is "Threatened".

    "Love" and "threatened" is the strongest force on its own pole. Those will dominate us to make us closer to or far away from something.

    Sometimes ..., we do love or we should be threatened, or we should be threatened to do love ...

    Less or more ...
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      May 20 2012: Bernard,
      The feeling or emotion of "threatened" is fear based is it not? I agree with you that love and fear (threatened) are the strongest forces, because I believe everything comes from a place of love or a place of fear.

      Can you explain more about what you mean by "we do love or we should be threatened, or we should be threatened to do love" ...?

      When there is a threat...either from us toward someone else, or toward us from someone else, I believe that to be fear based, rather than love.
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        May 21 2012: Hi Colleen

        Heart full of love must be free from feeling being threatened, whereas if we are threatened, then we will experience fear (which tends to move).

        Colleen you are right, it's just that sometimes fear was difficult to make someone move, that's why I chose "Threatened" which can be interpreted as fear (that has a better chance to make a movement). I have not found (yet) the right term similar to "fear", except by using the "Threatened" that reflects "fear" with high possibility to make a movement (although also threatened not always make a movement, but rather draws us closer to understanding "should be", "tend to" move relevantly).

        But basically, i can adapt it as "fear". At least you know the idea behind what i have said.

        //Can you explain more about what you mean by "we do love or we should be threatened, or we should be threatened to do love" ...?//

        The law of nature has specific ways to determine whether someone has been feasible to perform acts of love, and when it does occur, then:

        - When we are "obliged" to do love, then we must do something that reflects specific love (love to someone, love to God, and more ...), and we when we can not love, then the law of nature will put us in condition is being threatened.

        - Or from the other way, when we are "obliged" to do love, then the law of nature will give someone a threat that leads a person to better understand for something and hopefully this gives a new awareness as a trigger to do something that reflects specific love to something (love to someone, love to God, and more ...).

        It's the mystery of nature about how to put love and fear around our life.

        Less or more ...
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          May 21 2012: Bernard,
          I agree..."Heart full of love must be free from feeling being threatened".
          That is a GREAT goal we can all work toward in our world:>)

          You write...".....it's just that sometimes fear was difficult to make someone move, that's why I chose "Threatened" which can be interpreted as fear (that has a better chance to make a movement)".

          I'm not sure what kind of "movement" you are suggesting. In my perception, it is not desirable to "move" people with fear or threat.

          I also am not sure what you mean by "obliged to do love", or " the law of nature will put us in condition is being threatened". Are you refering to the concept of Karma?

          I prefer to think, feel, act and react with love, based on the choices I make, rather than believe that anything or anyone "obliges" me to love. I don't think/feel an attempt at mandatory love works so good, and can actually cause fear.

          I don't think it is a "mystery of nature about how to put love and fear around our life". It is often a choice we make for ourselves. The more we know ourselves, the better choices we can make regarding living in the moment with love or fear. The more mindfully aware we are, the more we can choose love, and move toward hearts full of love that are free from threat:>)