Scott Seigel

HCS

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After carrying you and giving you birth, what was the single most significant thing your mother did in your life?

It's almost Mother's Day, I have lots of "moms" in my life, and I really like them all!

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    May 8 2012: The most significant thing my mom did after giving me life, was to teach me unconditional love.
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    May 8 2012: She has been the one most interested in me.
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    May 8 2012: When I fell in love with my husband, I told my mother, "Mum, I have a new boyfriend. I met him at the University. He is Turkish."

    In that moment I could see what was going on in my mum's mind: Turkish … , Muslim …, maybe he will treat her badly, maybe my now independent daughter will be suppressed and be forced to wear a headscarf one day…

    The story of Betty Mahmoody and her book "Not without my daughter" was very popular these days. We lived in a small village with very few foreigners, all we knew about Turks and Muslims was what we had seen and read in the media.

    But my mother had always taught us to be careful with prejudices. And that day, she didn't say a single word. She just said, "Okay, I hope I will meet your new boyfriend soon."

    She met him, loved him from the first moment, realized that he is a very nice guy who will always respect me.

    I love her for this moment when she wiped away her worries and prejudices and decided to give him a chance.
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      May 8 2012: Dear Madman,
      How profoundly sad it makes me to hear of the abuse you've endured. In "liking" your comment, I intend to commend your courage for sharing. What she did was vile. I'm glad your wife has helped you break away from her. Clearly your wife loves you enough to encourage you to move away from something so unhealthy. I fear that if you ever succeed in suicide, your wife will be the one who ends up hurt. I'm in the process of helping a family member out of disabling depression right now. I moved him in with me. I'm helping him find and develop personal interests. We're trying to get his sleep patterns regularized. I've been feeding him very high-quality food (which is made especially hard by his meds). I think he's considering asking to gradually get off the meds (though he says he's still depressed). My recommendation is to try to replace harmful patterns with healthy ones. I REALLY think this is MORE important than counseling or meds. You have to work at it, but it's possible to create an upward spiral: a healthy life leads to a healthy mind. Click on my profile to email me (for a more candid private discussion).
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          May 9 2012: Mr. Madman. You are the most resilient person I have met in a long time. You are dong an outstanding job living with your demons and coping with the memories. I understand alone and I understand failure. And I also understand that anger is one way to medicate pain. Thank you for your story. Thank you for being courageous and sharing it with me. You did not have to and I do appreciate it.
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      May 8 2012: really awesome sir
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      May 8 2012: Dear Madman,
      I have trouble calling you that, because I don't think you are the "mad" person in your story. It feels like some of your wounds ARE starting to heal. The fact that you can talk about the abuse in a public forum, tells me that you have courage, and are continuing to seek healing. You say you "have never succeeded at anything". I percieve your communication right here, right now as a HUGE success. Everything starts with a dream, and one tiny step at a time. My love, appreciation and encouragement is with you my friend.

      How about changing your profile name here on TED. That might be another step toward changing your perception of your "self"?
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    May 8 2012: The most significant thing my mother has given after my birth is my smile on my face by her love, cares and everything which she gave.

    Love you ammi (mom)
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    May 8 2012: She gave me up for adoption.
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      May 8 2012: Wow. There's a perspective I never foresaw when I wrote the question. There are so many reasons why someone might do that. I wonder how this has impacted you. Do you feel her decision was a good one?

      Would you say it's overall worked out well for you or has it created too many hard (perhaps unanswered) questions?

      Do you know her? (If not, have you tried to find her? If so, have you pursued a relationship with her?)
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        May 8 2012: I put my name out there for her to find if she would look. But I never actively sought her out. My records are closed and it would take an attorney and much money to find her. Neither of which I have. And I really did not want to negatively impact any life she created after me.

        I was adopted after a while by good people who lived their own struggles. I think overall it worked out well. But I did go through a rough patch when I was younger and trying to find myself. That is tough when it is clear to everyone that you are different than those around you. And now my grown children have questions I cannot answer. But I have lots of love and people that care about me and that is what is important.
  • May 8 2012: After years of patient guidance and prayer, she helped me to find Jesus
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      May 8 2012: Thanks for your boldness greg!
      So many comments mention topics like patience, respect, love, and doing a job well. Our mom's teach us to be better people. This is embodied in the perfect example of Jesus who lived and died because of His great love for us. I believe He lives again, knows us perfectly and wants us to know Him better. That's a relationship. Keep going further in and higher up with Him!
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    May 8 2012: Respect for humans, animals, plants and every living being on earth, irrespective of their actions towards me, in short, she taught me respect world around me!!
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    May 8 2012: She taught me never do half a job, do everything to best of your ability. ( Thank you Mum R.I.P.)
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    May 8 2012: she taught me patience!!!
  • May 9 2012: I lost my mother very recently, and have realised that throughout my life she was always there when needed and also when I thought not! One of the many significant things my mum did was to leave me with a love and respect for learning and education, and quite a wicked sense of humour.
    • May 9 2012: may God bless her soul and grant you patience to bear this loss!amen
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      May 10 2012: Hello Janice,
      Sorry about the recent loss of your mom. My mom passed on many moons ago, and I realize that she is always with me because of the gifts she gave which never die. It seems like you are aware of this as well:>)

      My mom also taught love and respect for learning with a wonderful sense of humor, even when facing challenges. Everything she taught is with you forever my friend, so even though we miss the physical presence, we can still enjoy the "spirit" of our moms:>)
      • May 10 2012: Thank you Colleen, I take great comfort in enjoying the "spirit" of my mum.
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    May 9 2012: Give birth to my sister 19 minutes later.
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      May 9 2012: True, even though one does not feel any valuable gift from mother, but quite simply we were born, it's the first & biggest blessing for us to find out what life and what the power of love was. Smile

      We were born ..., the root of blessing that is often forgotten. We just have to use it carefully
  • May 8 2012: Encouraging my independence by teaching me about the importance of finances, pursuing an education, and to question everything about society (religion, traditions, culture, way of life, racism, etc) and follow my heart.
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    May 8 2012: She (and my father, because my father was also involved), encouraged me to find real purpose in life and encouraged me to get to know how much I need for the expansion of my consciousness.

    In short, my mother (and my father) encouraged me to be receptive to the possibilities.

    And (in my opinion at least), it made ​​me recognize there is love that is subtle than I've ever experienced with other people from any age.

    There should be other love, most subtle in our lives, that worth to be reached.
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    May 11 2012: She taught me that everything is possible if you just work hard enough for your goals and never lose track of them. She taught me that the goals I set for myself are my own, not anyone else's, so they are my own responsibility. She taught me that no one can set goals for me, that I am free to choose my own goals, and that she'd always support me. She let me go when I needed to escape from her protective wings and the nest of my childhood. Although she never says it, I know she is happy I will be a few hundred kilometers closer to her in two months than I was the past two years. She would let me go if I decided to move to the other end of the world, as long as I promise to come back every once in a while. I know I'd never be as good a mom as she is -- she doesn't intimidate me, but should I ever think about having my own kids, I'd make sure to ask her tons of questions to understand how she could so easily and lovingly dedicate her life to raising my sister and me... she's definitely a great role model in so many things that are about relationships, taking care of each other, and friendship. I'm proud to be her daughter and proud to work hard for my goals, so I can show her how she did everything right.
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    May 10 2012: She loved me when nobody else did.
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    May 10 2012: Taught me English. Couldn't be where I am now without being bilingual.
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    May 9 2012: My mom, Pat Sharkus, instilled in me that I "CAN DO" anything I set my heart/mind to. I miss her, but continue daily to honor her by stepping bolding into each day and giving my most for the greatest.
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    May 9 2012: My mom taught me to read everything I could get my hands on, "because printed words are magic. They can take you across the universe, deep inside your own mind, or through the life of someone you will never know who lives on the pther side of the world, centuries before you were born."

    She also taught me that words spoken were "worth about as much as the air used to make them."

    The quotes are hers. Needless to say, my dad could tell her he loved her all he wanted, but when he wrote her his biannual card (one on Christmas and one on her birthday) she would melt like a schoolgirl with a crush.

    By the way, the quotes are hers.
  • May 12 2012: with her big 'Dos and Do not s' she taught me how to be a nice socialized individual and how to act in a community.
  • May 10 2012: The single most important thing my mom does for me is to be happy in her own life. She would do anything for us but mostly she is active, involved in her passions, interests and friends. And she adores her grandchildren. She's a beautiful example of life well-lived.
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    May 10 2012: Taught me that college wasn't about training for a career. It was training for life.
  • May 10 2012: She embarrassed me horribly by trying to heal the lawn mower by sending it energy through her hands, in front of all the neighborhood kids. Today I embarrass my kids by using energy to heal, even though I am much more discreet and effective. Thanks mom for not being afraid to be a pathbreaker/maker.
  • May 10 2012: She taught me that it was OK to be stupid!
  • May 10 2012: She thought me two things:

    1 - do not wrinkle your forehead
    2 - do not trust anyone, not even your own mother

    thanks for the first #1 mom. Still working on #2............
  • May 10 2012: Agree to anything enumerated here. Plus, she gave me support when I was in a doubt whether to marry or not. That was a decisive moment and she advised me and supported me.
  • May 10 2012: She kindled my lifelong love of music!
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    May 10 2012: She gave me an obsession with knowing everything.
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    May 10 2012: teach me how to love
  • May 10 2012: It's to be my first and best friend.In my family,my parents and I talk like friends,espcially my mom,and that really benefits me a lot!I love you,Mom!Happy Mother's day!
  • May 9 2012: provided infinite love and excellent care
  • May 9 2012: How to laugh and make others laugh.
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    May 9 2012: Well to be very crisp my mother is like a goddess ,and to see a smile on her face because of me is always the happiest moments in my life !!!
    Due to our hectic schedules , we tend to miss those special moments with our mom and we must learn to cherish these special moments... If we respect our mom , we ll definitely get children who ll love us more than how much we love our mom as its the law of nature :)
    Its not about how expensive gift you get your mom on mother's day that matters , its about how many smiles you give on her face that matters :)
  • May 9 2012: She prayed for me in every single situation,which i believe,made me achieve more than my own potential or hard work!
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      May 9 2012: yes Sameem our mom is the only person in this world who prays only for us in each moment of her so that we will not face any problem in our life .......
      really mom is awesome gift by Allah
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    May 8 2012: WHO SAID I WAS READY TO ANSWER YET, LOL!
    (Someone else go first this time ;-)