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Aneesah Bakker

Owner/Director/Developer, Creative Change Coaching

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When we think we have no options, can we change our perception? Does having options make us happier?

Like with "everything", so too there "is" a paradox of choice.

1. Are we happier when we think we have a choice?
2. What if circumstances are such that there "are" no choices, e.g. during the holocaust. Lessons learned indicate that perceiving a choice in such circumstances can create "happiness".
3. Can too much choice, create unhappiness?
4. Are there different types of choices?
5. Whose responsibility is it to change our perception?
6. In any given situation, would you try to change the circumstances before you try to change your perspective?
7. Can the economics of happiness be separated from the economics of things/consumerism?

A related ted talk on the Ted radio hour is the talk by Barry Schwartz: Does Having Options Make Us Happier:
http://www.npr.org/2012/05/04/151879693/does-having-options-make-us-happier

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    May 7 2012: Hello again Aneesah:>)
    Yes, I think/feel we can change our perceptions all the time when we are mindfully aware.

    Personally, I am more content knowing I have the ability to take in information and evaluate how I will use the information by making informed choices/decisions. I simply would not give up that choice, which we all have.

    I believe that happiness/contentment is a choice, which we can make in every moment, and I believe it is a state of mind which can be related to too many, or not enough choices depending on our underlying thoughts/feelings regarding choice. If we believe that too many choices create happiness/unhappiness, that is the reality we will experience. If we belive that too few choices creates happiness/unhappiness, that is the reality we will experience. Change our thoughts, we may change our feelings, which may change our life experience.

    We are the ONLY ones who can change our own perception of anything. We can take in information from many different sources, and as thinking, feeling adults, we are the only ones responsible for the choices/decisions we make...or don't make:>)

    In any given situation, I absorb as much information as possible regarding the situation and choices I have available to me at that time, and will either attempt to change the situation, or change my perception of the situation.
    One important mantra (I know you like mantras) in my life is:
    "Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".

    Yes, I definitely believe that things/consumerism can be seperated from happiness...IF... one chooses to do so. I don't observe that having "stuff" creates happiness. Look at the USA...one of the most abundant countries in our world, where there is also one of the highest crime rates, one of the highest rates of substance abuse, and antidepressant use...etc. These behaviors do not reflect happiness/contentment.
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      May 7 2012: Hello Colleen,

      I too, like to feel that I have choices. I am also willing to accept that at times the only choice available is the choice to choose my attitude.

      Yes, happiness is a choice and choosing our thoughts is what creates happiness. Mindfulness makes the difference on a moment to moment basis.

      I, too, take full responsibility to change my perception of anything, and I choose a perception that is a win-win and is all-embracing. By this, I mean, I choose a perception that is respectful of myself and of others. I call it A Creator's Perspective.

      When I feel I do not have a choice, I see this as a "Psycho-Perceptual Leak" - what I refer to fondly as a "ppleak" - it just helps bring me back to my senses with compassion and humor!

      Colleen you say:
      One important mantra (I know you like mantras) in my life is:
      "Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".

      When I was 12, I wrote out this mantra and had it on a wall in my room. It is the one most important thing
      that has offered me peace, encouragement and support!
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        May 11 2012: Hi Aneesah,
        I like the word "ppleak"...not only does it send an important message....it also causes me to smile:>)

        You discovered that mantra at age 12? Good for you! I think I was a young adult by the time I came upon it, and it simply made sense from the first time I saw it! At the same time, I was asking myself questions, which I feel are connected to that mantra.

        When faced with a challenge that may have caused anger, confusion or frustration (fear), I asked myself...how important is this? How much energy do I want to "spend", and how do I want to spend the energy? At the end of the day...week....month....year....or even in 5 or 10 years...how important is this issue and how can I best spend my energy now...in the moment.....to understand, resolve, or let go?

        The mantra and this questioning of myself often puts things in a different perspective which seems more manageable. Wisdom to know the difference regarding what I can change and what I cannot is VERY beneficial, and that lesson was strongly reinforced during and after the near fatal head injury.

        I could not function for awhile....period!!! There was no point in spending my energy on fear, frustration, anger, disappointment, displeasure, etc. etc. The mission was to heal to the best of my ability, and it was amazing how things happened and fell into place when I simply let go of any need or desire to control anything! I had the option to spend my energy worrying about all the things I was NOT doing, and I had the option to know exactly what I could and would do.....heal. It was a good lesson in letting go:>)

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