- AbdelRahman Siddig
- Doha
- Qatar
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What is the most painful lesson you experienced and you wish other people to avoid your experience
Some people when came a cross painfull experience they wish every one in the face of the Earth get the same level of pain
other people they wish all other people to avoid such pain
The Question is
What is the most painful lesson you experienced and you wish other people to avoid your experience?
what did you learned?
and what people should to avoid the same situation?
Closing Statement from AbdelRahman Siddig
We can not avoid the feeling of pain it good feeling if we know how to use it
and as the wisdom says " there is hiden treasure buried inside each tragedy"
but we can learn from each other mistakes and save time and efforts
Debra Smith 200+
When you have a sick child you realize that all of the ideas you had about the value of a human life are null and void.
Aneesah Bakker
However, I ACCEPT it is what it is. I remain true to myself and my integrity in spite of threats. Such experiences cannot be avoided, meaning, one cannot go into a primitive form of fight, flight and fright response. I teach ways to develop strategies and resilience, self-belief to be able to DISCERN the motives of others. What we resist, persists so I don't waste energy getting upset that such things exist.
They make me stronger and more determined to support others build their creative confidence and not only meet such challenges (attacks) but thrive and continue to grow and even experience joy in what they are doing.
I focus on authenticity, integrity and contribution/making a difference! Always look for ways to shift from victim to victor and tell a story of how i am making it!
AbdelRahman Siddig
David Kelley
Thank you very much David for your commitment , your words was very touchy and encouraging , wish you all the best
Melanie McDaniel
Daxesh Degdawala
AbdelRahman Siddig
you have reached the peak of pain to see death as a cure
and the death has reached the peak of glory to be a cure
I tried to rhyme the ending words but I failed in the original poem the words are enough and cure
he said this word to word translation without rhyming
you had enough pain to see death as a cure and its enough for the death to become a wish
brenchley knights
Taketomo Kikuchi
Other mentor said, "If you run into difficulties, you should learn from predecessor or ancestor, because EVERY DIFFICULTIES you run into is already experienced by other people."
"If you will notice that there is no people who experienced this, this will be the most valuable difficulties to overcome."
Taketomo Kikuchi
Finally, although I was leader of seminar, I did not fulfill my responsibility. I thought the contents of the seminar was not enough because it was not discussion but talking.. I was dismissed by my professor as a matter of course..
It was totally my fault and I was arrogant. I learned from this failure and learned a lot of lesson.
When I will work in the future, Do not repeat this type of failure.
"There is not perfect environment to study, so we must pursue good performance in a restriction."
This must be connected to my future job.
If you are students, please avoid this painful experience.
Janis Cortese
Melanie McDaniel
kevin rahman
P.S. : all those bullies are now in jail for serious crimes. That made me laugh so much when I started talking to some old friends about them... On top of the freaking world.
Ayoka Oyedeji
I have learned to love my family more and I do want to people to know that whatever they are going through in life, their family will always be there for them because they are your blood. They may not like what you are doing, but they definitely love you more than strangers.
Mary M. 100+
It is a big risk to put ourselves in a vulnerable spot. Breem Brown has a TED talk on vulnerability that might provide you with some healing words of wisdom.
Look it up and watch it. It is one of the favorite TED talks of all times.
Be Well, and leave a crack in the window Ayoka, perhaps someone will come into your life unexpectedly and be the friend you have always wanted. "Behind every strangers face is a potential life long friend"...so says Maya Angelou, the author, in one of her books.
Ayoka Oyedeji
Eden Concepts
I defiantly agree with those quotes. I believe any person who has a place of oppression in their life will need a deliverer and then a freedom fighter. Deliverers help you to leave your place of oppression. Freedom Fighters lead in obtaining the place of living in freedom. Two great examples would be, Moses in the historical documentation of bringing Israel out of slavery and then Joshua leading them into a land to have their own nation. Another would be Harriet Tubman who lead slaves from slavery, and then Abraham Lincoln who delivered them into a lifestyle of freedom. That as the quote spoke of ripples, caused a wave for a man like Martin Luther King Jr. to fight for equal rights for all races.
So I defiantly can agree with those quotes. Oppression is broken by leadership serving the oppress. But the oppress still have to choice to follow and work, using their gifts and finding their purpose in service to a leader to brake the chains of oppression.
Original Post:
The most painful lesson we believe all people experience is letting go of past experiences that leave an impression on the effectiveness of living. That impression we believe is called oppression. Oppression inhibits people from finding their purpose because they have low self confidence about their passions. That low self confidence comes in the forms of laziness, poor self image, belief in lies that they don't have a chance to be fulfilled, or living to accomplish so much through the avenue of oppressing others.
The lesson we wish for others to learn is that freedom is harder work than staying oppressed. People can be free but not live in their deliverance. Freedom requires more work than slavery.
Prateek Maloo
I have realized that I can't fight someone else's fight for them. What's painful is that I am not able to give them the hope.
As Brian Cerda here said "Giving up is harder on you than continuing on". I hope this message goes to all of them so they stand up against the wrong.
My personal experience: Injustice in the name of religion/community. For someone's notion of a closed knit community and religious tenets, I'm in a state of dispair.
Genevieve Tran 50+
Don't fall into this one: if you are ever down and out in life (depressed, jobless, lonely etc). Beware that there are some self-positioned people in institutions "meant to help" expressly to prey on such vulnerability. They prey on you financially, sexually and suck what ever scrap of trust in humanity that was there to begin with. They can make your life even doubly worse than what it already was. Turn to your trusted family and friends, take them along with you to meet new people who may help. Speak to support circles--stay visible in a group environment. Beware of anyone offering to be or to show you a saviour.
Brian Cerda
Melanie McDaniel
Kent Spencer 10+
If you guys find a woman you feel a strong connection with, attempt to develop a relationship with her that goes beyond friends. In some cases, the time you'll have to do this will be limited before your chance is up. Lightly flirting with a girl you secretly like wont always get you two on the terms you desire. I'm a shy guy....and I couldn't never muster up enough courage to tell this girl I liked my true feelings I had for her.
Long story short, she was swept off her feet by another guy. A few weeks after, the conversation I was waiting for came a little too late. She expressed to me how she was interested in me but thought I wasn't interested in her. She confused my feelings towards her as me just being a gentleman and sweet guy. She expressed how she was also shy girl.....silly me....funny thing is, I sensed that! But by me being shy, I didn't want to risk the what we had in attempt to get deeper.
Now look at me. I'm on TED.com spilling my feelings out like a baby hahaha Being shy doesn't help when you want people to truly understand how you feel....say what you feel and mean it!!!
Now all you shy TEDsters, go make me proud and find love! Do it for me!!!!
Comment deleted
Don Wesley 50+
I am a little fearful of your message, not in the sense of what it seems to suggest, but what it doesn't explain.
I find the need to include the following quote from Robert F. Kennedy:
"Few will have the greatness to bend history; however, each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope... and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance."
And a quote from Albert Einstein:
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
Don Wesley [From the Silent Generation]
Eden Concepts
I defiantly agree with those quotes. I believe any person who has a place of oppression in their life will need a deliverer and then a freedom fighter. Deliverers help you to leave your place of oppression. Freedom Fighters lead in obtaining the place of living in freedom. Two great examples would be, Moses in the historical documentation of bringing Israel out of slavery and then Joshua leading them into a land to have their own nation. Another would be Harriet Tubman who lead slaves from slavery, and then Abraham Lincoln who delivered them into a lifestyle of freedom. That as the quote spoke of ripples, caused a wave for a man like Martin Luther King Jr. to fight for equal rights for all races.
So I defiantly can agree with those quotes. Oppression is broken by leadership serving the oppress. But the oppress still have to choice to follow and work, using their gifts and finding their purpose in service to a leader to brake the chains of oppression.
Original Post:
The most painful lesson we believe all people experience is letting go of past experiences that leave an impression on the effectiveness of living. That impression we believe is called oppression. Oppression inhibits people from finding their purpose because they have low self confidence about their passions. That low self confidence comes in the forms of laziness, poor self image, belief in lies that they don't have a chance to be fulfilled, or living to accomplish so much through the avenue of oppressing others.
The lesson we wish for others to learn is that freedom is harder work than staying oppressed. People can be free but not live in their deliverance. Freedom requires more work than slavery.
Don Wesley 50+
Thank you for your explanatory essay. I am assuming you meant "definitely", rather than "defiantly."
I am pleased that you found the quotes of great value.
Since I am a freedom fighter, the difference is very important to emphasize.
And as you have said, "freedom is harder work than staying oppressed."
I thank you once again for your helpful explanation and revealing truth.
Don Wesley [From the Silent Generation]
Tiffany Thorne
I am currently 17 months in on a criminal court proceeding for which I am the victim of two counts object rape.
I have so desperately wanted to feel secure. To feel like I do have dominion over my person. The court experience is extremely traumatizing, and it keeps the wounds of rape raw.
Something about my world changed the day I was raped. It was a more dangerous, and calloused world that refused to understand my experience, because they knew they couldn't possibly.
I learned that my world is unpredictable. That people are not to be trusted, but this is not something that must be learned by other rape victims.
Our American society is eager to call every rape a "he said" "she said". Stop! We need to examine our western culture as a Rape Culture, and search our hearts and minds for how and why we contribute to it. If you want to avoid my situation, help your community make a cultural shift that values enthusiastic consent, and places the burden of receiving consent on the initiator, and understand that victims have already been through hell. They don't want to deal with your insecurities or anger. So if you ever find yourself a secondary survivor, which many of us are though we do not know it, talk to someone who is not the victim about getting care for yourself.
I wish those who follow this conversation to get involved in movements like their local SlutWalk that focuses on cultures that victim blame and slut shame. Only an aggressive cultural shift towards a healthier community that values enthusiastic consent will help all of us to encounter fewer rapists.
Don Wesley 50+
What a painful situation [Hell] you are involved in.
I hear your lesson to us all and you have my support.
Your comment is precious knowledge and is a very helpful reply to the question.
Don
xiao gong
AbdelRahman Siddig
Donnie Johnson
My web site has the video download and my complete story: http://www.donniesaccident.com
Kathryn Hodgins
My experience in school 20+ years ago was one of the most damaging things I have ever endured. When I was a little child, I believed in everything my teachers said, taught, and did. I was led to believe that these were undeniable truths, forever etched in stone. As a result, severe damage perfused through my life, touching others. I know now, that I am not alone in experiencing this. There are many horrific education stories out there. What an effect education can have on children and our world! I just wish the educators of the past knew how profound their actions really could be.
That was then, this is now, and thankfully, there are more educators out there that understand the gravity of their positions. I believe our educational system is changing for the better, reaching out to the masses, into the future, striving to create an exceptional world for all.
P.S. Thanks internet and....thank you too, TED.
Greg McWhorter 500+
I try to tell my students about my personal experience in a way that I try to relate to them and explain how I was not much different than they are. I share my ups and downs with them about growing up and remind them not to fall into the traps that I did. I guess the main difference with me is that I don't simply tell them "Stay in school.", I also use my own life as an example of the reasons why. My students seem to get it so I hope that I make a difference. Do I actually? Only time will tell....
Jose V Balaguer
I learn a few lesson from those situations:
1. If you are in a bad place harden your attitude in order to not look weak. A confidence attitude is crucial.
2. If you get assaulted for the money never argue or fight and give they all the valuable things. Normally they go away at that point.
The main lesson I learned at that early age was that I can die. When you realize that your priorities become totally clear and never forget what is important and what isn't.
Greg McWhorter 500+
It was very hard raising three kids on low income. It was painful, but we made it. I was lucky enough to have a wife that worked with me as a team. I went to school and got my Bachelor's degree and Teaching Credential and acquired my teaching job. Then it was my wife's turn to go to school and she got her Bachelor's and her Master's degrees. Then, my turn again, I went back and got my Master's degree. Now it is my wife's turn again and she is getting her Doctorate. All of this would have been much easier if we had gotten our education first. I share my experiences with my students and try to make them realize that a degree can be very important.
This may sound bad to some, but it clicks with teens when I liken degrees to dogs. Mutts can be fantastic dogs, but they have no value (except to their owner/boss). A dog with a paper (pedigree) has value and is prized. Both dogs may be equally smart (and most scientific evidence shows that mutts are probably smarter), but it takes that paper to make a difference in value. This is like degrees that people get and how companies value them. The more degrees you have, the more serious people take you and pay you. Painful, but true.
Adriana Bevacqua
When you look back, what do you think could you have done to convince that young boy to finish school? I am pretty sure someone somewhere said, stay in school or something like that, why didn't just them saying be enough for you to listen?
I guess what I looking here is what do you tell your students?
Bernard Seremonia
This activity not only involves very strong discipline than most other activities, but because it involves direct control of the ego, which in our daily activities is not too strong to suppress the ego.
And I think the best way to improve the ease of control ego and discipline associated with difficulties in the expansion of consciousness are several possibilities:
1. Bring up the love and keep the power of love as much as possible that relevant to your path. This requires extensive knowledge and the ability to compare to make sure the benefits that can meet our expectations.
2. That is the same as above, but if we can not bring love, then at least we can foster a sense of curiosity.
3. We must realize that things happen for the goodness and something has a hidden wisdom that is not always known at this time. It is an attitude of gratitude.
These are the ways that may be easier for us to expand consciousness, including ... avoiding the difficulties in mastering the ego, which can be so painful.
Less or more ...
Branislav Ivkovic 10+
However, I think that's also a part of growing up - no one ever talks about what I call quarter-life crisis. Most people expect you to go out, get drunk and 'have fun' when you're in your twenties. Over time, with the help of my friends, I managed to worry less, and I have to add that TED helped a lot in overcoming it.
Pocahontas Water
Carrie Zhou
Marxism is maybe good but I don't feel comfortable to be forced to learn such knowledge.