Agnieszka Mazurek

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It is okay to be.... yourself.

People should never hide their sexual orientation from their relatives and friends. This kind of behavior may lead to mental breakdown, general unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life. One should seek acceptance instead of pretending to be someone they are not. No one should keep their feelings secret.

  • Apr 12 2012: It is essential to be yourself, unless you wanna go crazy. This is YOUR LIFE. Be who you really are! You were born to be YOU. Power to the positive!
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      Apr 16 2012: You have to be yourself........everyone else is taken.
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    Apr 11 2012: Does it really matter what your sexual orientation is when it comes to the relationships you build with your family and friends? Making it a point to have your private life public can be just as detrimental as denying who you are to yourself. Accept yourself for who you are, when you are. Seeking acceptance from everyone you hold close to your heart is bound to end in unhappiness as some people simply won't accept some things, or simply not care enough to give it any attention.
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      Apr 11 2012: What about the situation, in which someone has to introduce their partner (of the same gender) to their family? And you are right, it is unrealistic to make absolutely everyone accept certain things. However, it is possible to create a nice atmosphere of mutual understanding.
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        Apr 11 2012: People don't have to understand something to make it an issue or non-issue. Do they ~have~ to introduce their partner to their family? Are they bound to cultural or societal norms to do so? Or is the introduction designed more to provoke shock or indignation? People don't ~have~ to introduce their partner. People feel impelled to introduce their partner due to other factors that have little to do with the introduction itself.

        People usually treat others concerns with the proper amount of attention: If you seek approval, they'll offer or deny it and you should consider it. If you don't seek approval, then any doubt they offer has no value other than what you allow it to have.

        Talk this over with your partner. If both of you feel comfortable introducing the family to the relationship, by all means do so. If one of you feels uncomfortable, then hold off and reassess your comfort level later.
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          Apr 11 2012: What if someone wants to marry a person of the same sex. It would be rather odd not to introduce their spouse-to-be to the family. It would be even worse not to invite them to a wedding or have the invitation rejected, as this would only further undermine one's relation with their relatives.
          I think that the problem is that people want to be happy but at the same time they don't want to disappoint their families.
  • Apr 11 2012: I think is it possible to both be yourself and not constantly seek acceptance. If some relatives and friends do not accept the way you are perhaps it is time to either limit your contact with them or stop worrying about their inability to accept you the way you are ?
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      Apr 11 2012: Be aware of the fact that in extreme cases, it is impossible for a person with "unusual preferences" to ignore and "stop worrying" about those that disrespect him/her. Therefore, the tormented ones should find their ways to convince their loved ones that being homosexual or bisexual is completely natural and there is no need for harsh criticism.
      • Apr 11 2012: Yes I agree that it really depends on situation. For teens it is much harder because they still depend on their family. For an adult there is always the choice of continuous suffering or realization that it is the right thing to do to avoid certain family members or topics in order to lead happier and positive life. Seeking friends that accept you.

        Sometimes people think that they are obliged to keep relationships with certain people (family, friends). One can always be polite, send Christmas cards and keep in touch but otherwise minimize interaction.
  • May 4 2012: It's easy to accept what's already been accepted, homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality, the ones still hiding are the ones not listed in these pre-checked groups.
  • Apr 29 2012: I just popped into Secrets on TED. We are literally dying to tell our secrets. What are secrets in comparison to the beauty of diatoms, how our brains work, phantom parts, incredible shrimp and the mysteries of this magnificient planet. Tell your secrets to your self, become self aware.
  • Apr 29 2012: Acceptance does not mean happiness nor unhappiness. Acceptance is only what you know of yourself. They, if you accept they, accept the truth of what you know and share. No one is in your head.
  • Apr 21 2012: You are who you are, so its ok to be yourself. The problem comes when you dont take full advantage of what you are or who you are. Everyone has different talents and gifts. So exploit your talents, exploit your gifts, for your welfare and for others..
  • Apr 12 2012: Happiness and satisfaction are not always delivered from a positive channel. Ecstasy of drugs and heroine are very satisfying to a drug addict but they do not lead to a healthy lifestyle. I agree that a person who suffers from this secrecy should find someone to talk to about his hidden torment, however I also recommend that you research what health problems comes from engaging in homosexual activities and examine the fact that they do not have a unique healthy sexual practice of their own like the heterosexual intercourse.
  • Apr 12 2012: Well I can see your dilemma Agnieszka. I mean, I know that it must be difficult to hide ones feelings from ones family, but I personally think that no one should hide his/her feelings. If you have problems with your parents/ close ones knowing about your sexuality, you should just open yourself with them. Theres nothing wrong. We should not hide from our real nature.
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      Apr 12 2012: Fortunately, I have no dilemma of that kind yet. Please make sure that you are not referring directly to me in your response as I am not asking your for an advice but for your view on homo- and bisexual people whose lives are made harder by intolerant society.
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    Apr 12 2012: That is a quandary only if you believe it is necessary. My father was remarried for seven years before I found out. Did it change my relationship with him? Not really, he was not that engaged with us, his family anyhow. Treat this the same way: Introduce when you want, if they can't accept what makes you happy, send the invite and expect to get the invitation rejected. And be grateful if they show. Trying not to disappoint people when they are being intolerant is an exercise in futility. Encouraging your happiness, despite their personal convictions, is a true testimony of their love.