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pranoy sundar

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how does an embarassing moment brings out the weirdest person in us?

We are not always the best person who we can be, not atleast in an embarrasing moment, i am talking about the majority. We always thinks we could have done or acted better in a situation that had already happend. most of us, in an embarrasing situation, tend to say or do anythings that could add to the embarrassment factor.
some will get defensive, scream, shout, run away on the brink of tears, or flat-out cry in public making a bigger scene out of the moment. A moment can turn everything upside down, you drop down your confidence level right to the bottom.
An anxious and embarrassing moment can effect you mentally. They can cause some kind of social phobia. In some cases, those who fear embarrassment will change their lives to avoid many social situations. This can negatively impact their ability to make friends, and to network for the sake of their careers.
what is the science behind such moments, how do you react in such moments, better to ask, how had you reacted in those moments? is this a problem of this generation, or has it been the problem of all generations?

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    Apr 7 2012: Hi again, Pranoy...

    . . . this all began when we were toddlers. Having just discovered that we could stand, walk, and run – we wanted to explore everything in the world, and as fast as we could. That was was our Sympathetic NS coming ‘on line’ and propelling us to move forward into the world…

    But since we were so young, we didn’t have the life-experience that would protect us from moving towards things that could harm us. The job of protecting us fell to our caregivers. One of the tools available to them was that they could intervene to stop us, with a shout, command, or maybe just a sternly disapproving look…which is all that it took to activate our Parasympathetic NS, which then ‘shuts us down’ long enough for our caregivers to rein us in, so to speak…by evoking the 'shame circuit' that exists in all of us.

    As we get older, and our verbal and cognitive capacities increase, we begin to make ever more complex associations between the interior experiences of emotions and the reactions we get from others – that is, we start to make ‘meaning’ of our experiences. Whether the meanings we make are positive or negative depends a lot on how our early experiences shaped the way we learn to think about ourselves…

    The branch of psychology I’ve found most helpful in understanding human emotion is called Affect Psychology, based on the work of psychologist Silvan Tomkins, who created Affect Theory. His work has not received the attention it deserves, but I hope to live long enough to see that change!

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