pranoy sundar


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how does an embarassing moment brings out the weirdest person in us?

We are not always the best person who we can be, not atleast in an embarrasing moment, i am talking about the majority. We always thinks we could have done or acted better in a situation that had already happend. most of us, in an embarrasing situation, tend to say or do anythings that could add to the embarrassment factor.
some will get defensive, scream, shout, run away on the brink of tears, or flat-out cry in public making a bigger scene out of the moment. A moment can turn everything upside down, you drop down your confidence level right to the bottom.
An anxious and embarrassing moment can effect you mentally. They can cause some kind of social phobia. In some cases, those who fear embarrassment will change their lives to avoid many social situations. This can negatively impact their ability to make friends, and to network for the sake of their careers.
what is the science behind such moments, how do you react in such moments, better to ask, how had you reacted in those moments? is this a problem of this generation, or has it been the problem of all generations?

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    Apr 10 2012: We often never find out what we're made of until an embarrassing moment arises. It's how we react to these uncomfortable situations that judge the strength of of mental/physical well being. There's a lot of things to learn as results to these occurrences. Embarrassing moments can outline what adjustments we need to make for ourselves to better prepare for similar situations. You know what they say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
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    Apr 10 2012: I don't need an embarrassing moment to be weird. I relish weirdness. Don't be embarrassed by it, bring it on!!!!!!!!!
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    Apr 10 2012: Hi Pranoy, Is the glass half full or half empty. Embarassing moments also bring out the best in each of us. We have all NOT handled a situation as best as possible. And yes this is not a new issue. As Puck in A Midsummers Nigh Dream said what fools we mortals are. Here is the short answer. It does not matter what occured either good or bad ... the real issue is have you learned from it and will you grow from it. Every thing else it rubbish. All the best. Bob.
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    Apr 7 2012: Hi again, Pranoy...

    . . . this all began when we were toddlers. Having just discovered that we could stand, walk, and run – we wanted to explore everything in the world, and as fast as we could. That was was our Sympathetic NS coming ‘on line’ and propelling us to move forward into the world…

    But since we were so young, we didn’t have the life-experience that would protect us from moving towards things that could harm us. The job of protecting us fell to our caregivers. One of the tools available to them was that they could intervene to stop us, with a shout, command, or maybe just a sternly disapproving look…which is all that it took to activate our Parasympathetic NS, which then ‘shuts us down’ long enough for our caregivers to rein us in, so to speak…by evoking the 'shame circuit' that exists in all of us.

    As we get older, and our verbal and cognitive capacities increase, we begin to make ever more complex associations between the interior experiences of emotions and the reactions we get from others – that is, we start to make ‘meaning’ of our experiences. Whether the meanings we make are positive or negative depends a lot on how our early experiences shaped the way we learn to think about ourselves…

    The branch of psychology I’ve found most helpful in understanding human emotion is called Affect Psychology, based on the work of psychologist Silvan Tomkins, who created Affect Theory. His work has not received the attention it deserves, but I hope to live long enough to see that change!
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    Apr 7 2012: Hi Pranoy,

    What you’ve described is a problem not just of this generation. Embarrassment is one of the many forms that shame takes, and all humans are vulnerable to it, for the following reasons.

    Here is the science behind shame/embarrassment. Human beings are all born with innate capacities to experience what we call ‘emotions,’ often called ‘feelings.’ It’s interesting that only in recent years has the study of this incredibly important part of our life-experience started to get significant study.

    Our emotions evolved as a means to interpret our experience. We all know from our own experience that our emotions can be powerful motivators in our lives, giving us important information about how we are reacting to events and people in our lives.

    Unfortunately, because humanity as a whole has not understood the realm of emotion very well, we are often confused about how to interpret the information our emotions are giving us. Sometimes we take the information our emotions provide (such as the anger we feel that gives us a message like: “I really don’t like this situation I’m in!”) and take misguided actions that only make a bad situation worse - because that's what we learned to do.

    We learn to give meaning to the physical sensations that our emotions arouse in us through how our parents and others respond or react to us when we’re displaying our emotions.

    In the specific case of embarrassment (which is one of the forms the basic emotion of shame takes), the feeling of it comes over us very quickly and ‘jams our circuits’ for a bit. We feel suddenly confused and unsure of ourselves. What happens when shame of any kind is triggered internally, is that our Sympathetic Nervous System (which is activated when we move towards something or somebody with the emotion of Interest) suddenly is squelched by our Parasympathetic Nervous System (which is triggered by the fear that we may have done something wrong) having been activated. . .

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    Apr 6 2012: Embarrassment is a reminder that you are entering a perceived dangerous situation which would be unique to you.
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    Apr 6 2012: I stop thinking, at least rationaly, get hasty and loose orientation, or freeze My face gets red and I can not find the right words.
    But worst is, embarassing situations often can be made in to greate storys about how we coped with them. Knowing that, I come up with all sorts of ways, how I should have reakted.

    Fast good reaction takes praktise and it not easy to get my self praktising embarassing situations.