TED Conversations

barb lundgren


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The place to start a real conversation is with oneself. This is the voice the voice that has been squelched, most often from birth onward.

I think Sherry raises some critical points in the evolution of human development, consciousness and communication. She advises us to relearn how to talk to one another, sharing conversation, for example, around the dinner table. Have you seen the kind of conversations that this results in? I have been watching them for decades and they are not typically conversations. Most children and their thoughts, ideas, expressions, passions and preferences have been thwarted from birth or young childhood on. The real conversations, the ones that allow for the the development of authenticity, passion and true engagement with all of life begin inside. Begin that conversation... between myself and I. Don't let anyone else in until that center feels strong, confident and ready for external conversation.


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  • Apr 4 2012: Dear Barb,You have made a point I have been trying to get across to certain people for whom I care a great deal for a long time: rule one is to know and be comfortable with oneself and DO NOT allow anyone or anything distract you from that first. basic requirement in being human, and even before hoping to be able to connect authentically with others. Technology is not the only thing that distracts us from that end, however. Too often it is fear of what we might find if we find ourselves. Then technology, among other things, can be a distraction from the sometimes uncomfortable truth we find inside. And. yes, we fear being alone because we equate it with loneliness. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am breaking my own rule here, or I guess more accurately, making an exception to my rule of becoming involved in an on-line conversation, but this is a subject close to my heart. I was enamored of it for the first few years I had a computer, but have since withdrawn memberships or simply ignored them on quite a number of discussion networks . I recently received a compliment from someone I knew on a comment of mine that went to Facebook, as almost everything seems to do these days. It was a very rare thing for me to do. I sign petitions, perhaps with a short comment, post it to my wall, and forget about it. Engaging in discussions whether they be political, religious, or the color of the sky, or in this discussion is something I just don't do except with real, flesh and blood friends and one or two left the early daywas astounded to finded I hade literally dozens of "friend" requests from people I do not know or have any connection with except through a real friend, someone I knew in flesh and blood, three or five or seven times removed. People have been running away from themselves forever with a variety of distractions, whether it be sex, drugs. rock 'n roll, movies, fantasies whatever. Technology is just the most recent-and extremely convenient way of doing so
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      Apr 4 2012: I love your comments and can completely relate to the distractions that most of us create for ourselves to assuage the horror of being alone, really alone, with oneself. That is the final frontier, aloneness. That state of full and comfortable immersion with oneself, alone.

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