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I would like a conversation that includes class and racial experiences related to shame.In particular owning/admitting privilege and how to

I am not bringing up this topic to shame anyone or make anyone feel guilty. Brene Brown did mention how having privilege makes one feel guilty and maybe ashamed. When I have asked someone of a higher class to talk about class as privilege I am often met with anger and defensiveness and although I am not the one with that particular privilege I often times am made to feel guilty for bringing it up. I have white skin privilege and know I have done the same to people of color in the past.I am beginning to see that there is a triad to be built here maybe we need to add denial into this discussion of shame and vulnerability.Or how does shame,guilt and denial keep us from connecting with one another?


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    Apr 3 2012: What a great question: so much to say.

    I just got off discussing racial experiences while chasing a rabbit in another talk on children and eating.

    As an immigrant, like Simon, I have been exposed to alot of shameful experiences.

    I was so affected by the treatment I received when young in S. Florida, that I spent most of my young adult years hating my own culture....it's language, music, people, art, .....etc

    I have changed quite a bit since then, I am now almost a grandma......but I will say this: I feel shame everytime I see people of my native country treating others, of their same country with racial slurs based on the part of the country they are from. Humans are something else.....why the feelings of superiority? I don't understand it myself.

    We are all just the same....and our differences make us unique.

    I will contribute one experience I had while spending a few weeks in Tennessee visiting friends a few years back when I was single.

    One of my friends had a window cleaning business up there and asked a few of us to help her. We jumped at the chance. I had never done domestic work for someone else. I don't shy away from work too easily....and I love new experiences.

    Well, as we were cleaning, the lady of the house struck up a conversation with us. She then realized I was Latin. Well, she then went on to say how MY people needed help, and how MY people had done alot to get ahead, and what great english I spoke, and how excellent that I had learned it, and good for me that I was washing windows, and on and on and on.......I just allowed her to say all that she fancied.

    What she didn't know, and what I didn't bother to tell her, is that I had already lived in four countries, had a college degree, and was just doing my friend a favor. The lady's cook, an african-american, was busy cooking and throwing looks my way, a sheepish grin on her face....

    I felt shame, not for me, but for the ignorance of some people.

    I will never forget the experience.
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      Apr 4 2012: What an incredible story.

      I'm actually an Asian American; my parents were born in China and Taiwan but I grew up in San Diego, CA. When I was younger, it used to annoy me when people would ask "Where are you from?" or "Where did ou learn English?" There's this expectation that people who look Asian are assumed to be foreigners and when I tell them that I grew up in CA, it's almost as if they don't believe me.

      I will say that now things are pretty different. However, it's still an odd experience in the music industry since there is so little exposure on Asian Americans in the entertainment world.
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        Apr 4 2012: I will share my favorite quote with you:

        "We all belong to the same race........human"

        Thank you for your reply Simon.

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