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Konstantin Karasik

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Deception in Dating and Relationships

I deeply believe in truth! i like being honest and i like being honest to.
From my knowledge some people "play games" when they first dating with someone, games that play on our insecurities or of "child candy" where they wave something that you want (meeting them, being with them, sex?) and they dont give it to you... unless you do something, follow a path they want and so on.

Mostly my problem is with the games themselves, and maybe it because i am not good at them, but it seems that people enjoy them! It is said that it makes the relationship stronger in the later stage.... if you survive and can play the game.

After Marco's talk i see how people might enjoy things, and i wander if this same outlook is to be used when dating someone? meaning that such games can actualy be good and really make you enjoy them?

What do you think?

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  • Apr 2 2012: Ive recently delved into this subject.

    I am just gonna put down the men's perspective here, dont vindicate me for ignoring womens though, thats not what this is about.

    I am in a hotel bar and having a nice conversation with a lady, she says she needs to go bed but keeps hanging around. I ask her.

    "Would you like to come to my room?"
    "No thanks." She still hangs around.
    "Youre welcome to come up, do you want to?"
    "I dont know?" I realise the game.
    "Erm, okay... I think you should."

    We get up to the room and I find her suddenly just as eager as i am.

    What is the lesson here? Guys tease girls, girls pretend they dont like it, girls say no and often mean yes. Guys learn to ignore what girls say, learn to persist when girls say no. Its fun most of the time, but if i was not in a bar but asking a workmate on a date, could it be called harrassment? If the last thing a girl says is a coy "no" before sex, what does that mean considering rape? Look at the ambiguity in the Julian Assange case. Porn is considered to be a perpetuator of rape myths, what about the "no sometimes does in fact mean yes" game.

    My comment is more about sexual initiatives, but what Im saying is that fun games can have consequences that you dont think about. I enjoy playing games, but sometimes they can backfire.

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