Mireille Chéry

President & Founder, F.I.S.H. Corporation Foundation

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Opposite attracts! Is that so?

Good and Evil. White and Black. Rich and Poor, God and devil. Sickness & Health....the list goes on right ? I don't see the attraction. I only see opposition.

We tend to say, surround yourself with good people. For some reason the colour of the skin of someone can be seen as beneath another one and no rich person want to have poor people in their immediate circle...

So why do we say opposite attracts? It doesn't right!

Where do you stand, show me the attration you see or experience, what is your take on this?

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    Mar 20 2012: I don't know if i'm right but between men and women we are also attracted to qaulities that we are missing within ourselves? so an introvert might pair well with an extrovert but then sometimes culture and setting has it's place aswel like two Aussies find love when they meet up in another country,they could be introvert/extrovert aswel.
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      Mar 24 2012: I think you right Ken, its true, we do find completion at times, in others. It's a great point. Thanks.
  • Mar 25 2012: Opposite attracts, but Like Sustains - alteast in my case :D
    Duality is Singularity Itself :D
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    Mar 22 2012: According to science, opposite charges attract.

    People are complicated. Friends can be opposites usually, but as lovers it seems to have way more depth to a relationship than just opposite attraction. I think relationships need to be like "you give a little you get a little", but you should not expect too much, too early, for that causes conflict. For I usually fall victim to putting another person on a pedestal and I expect to have the same done for me, but I believe a union of 2 people should just feel smooth and stable from the very beginning.

    I totally believe in Yin and Yang though, for there needs to be an absolute evil to have an absolute good, without balance, the world may never have thrived as far as it currently has. Evil inspires Good to be better, but in turn inspires Evil to be worse. This seems almost counter productive, but I feel it is the ebb and flow of evolution.

    In a strange train of thought, poverty is attracted by wealth only in the case for supporting another life, like a homeless mother and her newborn. Another functionality, is that money attracts programs to assisst poverty in upward social mobility.

    I think economically, scientifically, and ideologically some opposites can attract, but in the case for human relations, there needs to be a convergence on both parts to reach a middle platform in order to sustain compatibility and promote happiness for both (or more) members.
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      Mar 24 2012: I like your thinking Derek, make sense! Specially on the relationship part "give a little and get a little".

      It should be balanced though. Like : Opposite can attract good. This is how I beleive they can attract each other in opposition of doing, or being good.

  • Mar 22 2012: Sometimes the attraction is more of a love/hate relationship. Attraction does not always mean something positive. Sometimes it is more like the cops and the robbers (or whatever) ; if they both did not interplay with each other, there would be no game for either side.
    So some times the opposition you mention IS the attraction. Maybe it is a sensing of the opposite power or strength, like the north and south ends of magnets. We are attracted by opposites as well as similars. Both relationships have different properties, both good and bad. I think these are just laws of nature, to which we as humans are subject, as we are part of nature.
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    Mar 20 2012: Opposites attract, but they don't always stay together.
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    Mar 19 2012: Well in French we also have "qui se ressemble, s'assemble" which means the opposite of "opposites attracts". Just like "absense makes the heart grow fonder" competes with "out of sight, out of mind". I guess the proverbs are something to blurt out in the situation that most fits. ;-)
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    Mar 19 2012: according to socionics, almost. but the jungian rational/irrational classification must be identical.
  • Mar 26 2012: To me there is no such thing as "right" and "wrong", "good" and bad".
    These words were created to give certain diagnosis of the things, labelling them with one word.
    Saying "It is good" or "It is bad" etc. without considering others' thoughts, how "right" that could be?
    here I can say: "What is food for you can be poison for another and vice versa"
    now you may say: "It is right" and the other can say: "It is wrong"

    So there is a difference that lies between them. (it applies humans too).
    the things and humans are as they meant to be, and if our unconscious mind can't accept them,
    the conscious mind start to label them with words.

    we might be interested in things we "haven't got" or we "can't create"
    and we might start to think that they are attractive, we might not know it for sure until we got them.
    It can be hard to explain if we fall in love with sameness and common interests or opposite and difference.
    as we are the same we can be different too.

    we create the circle around us we want to live in, calling it "Our world".
    we include people, material things, emotions, interest, etc in it and throughout life we change that circle's form,
    sometimes it gets bigger or smaller.

    It depends on how one defines "rich"
    Financially rich people can have poor people in their immediate circle for certain means.
    if they do not do that they may have hard time to know if they are rich or poor.

    Create the circle that not only you, but others too want to live in it.
    create the world that people want to live in.
    Instead of saying "It is good" or "It is bad", say "it is different"
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    Mar 25 2012: Is this connected with pheromones - where the body secretes a specific scent that is only attractive to those of different genotypes - thus reducing the risk of close genetic sex.
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      Mar 25 2012: I heard about this "secretes a specific scent". It's does apply in that post Heather, because there is an attraction and an opposition, so please express yourself.

  • Mar 25 2012: In terms of love, opposites rarely attract. When similar people fall in love, they start to notice the differences that he or she has with the other person. Fun fact number two, love at first sight is actually sexual attraction.
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      Mar 25 2012: you have any sources for that? because i have sources that say the opposite of that.
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        Mar 25 2012: What are your sources Krisztiàn? I would like to read it. Thanks.
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          Mar 25 2012: socionics is psychological profiling method that is especially good dealing with interpersonal relations. it is not recognized by the academia.

          website: http://www.socionics.com/
          here is what they say about the ideal relation between two persons: http://www.socionics.com/rel/dlt.htm

          i'm unable to find the resource i'm referring to now. there was a series of articles about how the inventor discovered relation and personality types. it is not began as a theoretical model, but rather, they started analyzing marriages, and tried different existing classifications to find correlations. finally, they identified a working model, namely, a version of jungian psychological types. with that model, the inventor was able to explain with some reliability which marriages work better and which are worse.

          one can debate the validity of this theory. however, i'm citing it to show that it is based on observation of actual couples. so i would say it is something which we must consider. it is definitely stronger than anyone's unbacked opinion.
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        Mar 25 2012: Hey ALL,

        I was thinking that yea if a pair of lovers were exactly the same then there would be nothing to gain from that relationship.

        I believe we unionize ourselvves with another because there are key differences that the other person finds is a desirable attribute; be it wealth, personality, ideology, physicality, etc.

        We find that certain things will make us "HAPPY", but only through trial and failure will you know exactly what you want.

        I don't believe that most people have the luck to find perfect love from their first relationships, don't you think so?

        Thanks for reading my thoughts. Feel free to share any of your thoughts. =D
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      Mar 25 2012: Hi Zared,

      I'm not sure about this, just for common knowledge, if I have someone exactly like me as a lover, husband etc., I would not be able to learn anything from that person etc.

      Furthermore, because we are unique individual, we have difference at the source.

      On the other hand, love at first sight, certainly have a predominant sexual attraction.
      • Mar 26 2012: It is very obvious that no one is the same, but it also very obvious that we all belong together. If I were to find a lover similar to me, I will find differences between me and my lover because everyone is unique. Moreover, relationships will simply fail if the two persons cannot find the connection between each other. Polarization in relationships is moronic because attraction between two persons are initially caused by similar sexual orientations; then, other connections must be established, or the relationship will simply be "young" love and not compassionate love.
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    Mar 24 2012: well , i think first of all you should define what exactly you mean by "attracts" ?
    if you are refering to general attractions of opposite genders then i dont think its true always...but if you are referring to physics then we can say that like opposite charges attract.
    so you got to be specific in exactly what manner you are using the word "attract" i think
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      Mar 25 2012: Hi Siddehesh,

      For me is more about the correlation between the two words : Opposite and Attract ! Place together, there is automatically a contradiction, furthermore, there is no attaction between good and evil, so why we say "opposite attracts".

      It's not just "attracts", it's the two words together, that my post it's all about. Hope this can help you express yourself better.