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Kristina Sakowich

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Parents of Estranged Adult Children and Disillusionment

As a mother of 8 children I poured my heart and soul into my children even homeschooling them, traiining them to be upstanding highly moral and productive members of society. Thinking all the parenting books I read was going to help me produce a 'perfect' adult child, I was completely knocked off my feet when my children went astray. I currently have two estranged adult children and have 6 more to raise and currently feel, what is the use if they are going to do this also. As parents we don't expect our adult chilldren to go so far from what we had expected and hoped as they became adults and I find it very lonely here on this cliff of 'death' of a dream. So many of my friends are friends with their adult child and I find myself alone, bewildered and without any help to deal with this pain. People say, they'll come back when they are 'older' wiser and maybe it may take them becoming parents, but what do I do in the meanwhile.

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    Mar 18 2012: Love them, support them, console them.

    My parents were great people, ministers in fact... which doesn't MEAN a lot, except that in my particular case it meant for a great up-bringing.

    And... I... ended... up... estranged.

    They may not come back! But, you are Mom. Be Mom. Unconditional love.

    I came back... and realized, Mom & Dad were right all along. You can STILL instill ideas and changes in your adult children! You say you brought them up with all the right THINGS, morales, etc... well, your not done! You keep being that awesome parent.

    What it WILL do is show the ones who are still learning that Mom&Dad will never give up on them... you can do it. Never give up on your kids.

    Paul
    (Just a kid...) :D